The Universe In Her Eyes
by TiliaofAnkh
Summary: [Tenrose] Time Winters stared at the trembling Time Lord and felt her heart shatter into pieces. The Doctor met her eyes and for the first time, he didn't see the universe. No, for once he didn't see constellations and time and possibilities in her eyes - he just saw the girl. The frightened, scarred 16-year-old orphan who needed him as much as he needed her to survive.
1. 01 - Stars In Our Eyes

**Hello! :D**

 **I know there are probably a thousand stories out there just like this one, but I thought I'd give it a try - this is my version of a Doomsday and The Stolen Earth/Journey's End fix-it. This time with my OC, Time Winters who will be officially introduced in this story.**

 **It would make me really happy if you gave this a try! :D**

 **(Oh yeah, before I forget, shoutout to the absolutely brilliant 3greeneyes3 who helps me finding my way in the story and is always ready for 1 AM rants! You go, guurrl! :D)**

 **Right then, allons-y!**

 **The Universe in her eyes**

 _Chapter 1 - Stars In Our Eyes_

* * *

Their forever started with a promise.

It was as simple as breathing, as easy as love; yet neither of them dared to speak the words, out of fear the other would back away. So they tried to express what they couldn't say with words with actions, little glances full of devotion and drowning in each other's arms - and it worked fine, for both of them. There was never a single moment they questioned their relationship, that they questioned _them_.

Their forever started with a promise.

As simple as loosing, as easy as grieving.

* * *

"You can't be serious about this one. Please tell me you're not." Her voice was supposed to sound exasperated but ended up mirroring her bright smile. The Doctor raised his eyebrows at her, in mock outrage. "What's wrong with bananas, Rose? Bananas are good!" Rose laughed and rolled her eyes at him. "I know but I'm still not going to an entire planet full of those blasted things!"

He sniffed. "Alright, then. So I'll just go there on my own-"

"Don't you dare." She laughed again and he couldn't help but stare at her for a moment. The warm, faint light of the small nightlamp to their feet and the soft glow emitting from the stars above them let shadows dance across her beautiful face.

Rose pointed, not noticing his gaze on her, on another constellation on the map he was holding up in front of them. It was only just their second and they were going to go through so many more of the maps and cards scattered across the floor around them. Both were huddled up on the sofa in the library, his feet streched out on a pile of cushions she had put under them, Rose cuddled up against him with bent legs. The Doctor shifted the arm he had draped around Rose's shoulders and pulling her close, to reach for the specs in his pocket.

"What about that one? Sounds interesting.", Rose commented and chuckled when he leaned closer to the map, pushing the specs further up his nose. He let her teasing comment about his sight in this body slide. _It's reading-glasses_ , he'd usually point out, huffing indignantly, which always made her laugh. Not tonight, though. Instead, his gaze was glued to her glowing face, her almost shy motion to the paper in their hands, and it reminded him so much of the night they had stood in the Estate's backyard in front of the TARDIS, the ashes falling down on them, with fluttering hearts and hesitant touches.

She had never been more beautiful to him than that night when her face broke into a wide grin that looked like it could grow flowers, and had said "Yeah. That way.".

"Doctor?"

"Hmm? Which one were you saying?"

Her finger tapped on the map. "Pappanicopolopolous."

He stopped, his eyes flitting back to her. "What?" Rose huffed and closed her eyes, knowing what would come next - and she wasn't disappointed. When she opened her eyes again, a big grin had spread on the Doctor's face. "Rose Tyler, are you messing with the names again? That gonna be the next Raxacoriofallapotorius?"

"Shut up." Her cheeks were glowing but her embarassed lip-biting grin was way too endearing for him to stop. The Doctor let out a soft chuckle. "Pappanicolopolous.", he corrected her, gently.

"Pappanic ... olo ... what?"

"Pappanicolopolous."

"Pappanicolopololous."

"No, Pappanicolopolous. Just say it real fast-"

"Pappanicolopolous!", Rose cried and asked "Yeah?" through squinted eyes, waiting for his reaction.

"That's my girl", the Doctor said softly, giving her shoulders a squeeze. She sighed and rested her head on his shoulder. "That planet any good?"

He shrugged. "Oh, you know, the usual. New skies, new ground under your feet, four moons ... dinosaurs, probably."

She gasped, her brown eyes growing wide as she catched his gaze. "You're joking."

"Nope!", the Doctor replied happily, popping the 'p' and Rose knew he would have bounced up and down on his heels if they were standing.

She let out a huff of breath, pondering for a while, then she looked up at him again, not taking her head off of his shoulder. Instead, she snuggled closer to him and closed her eyes, yawning. "Yeah, sounds good. Let's do that."

The Doctor nudged her with his shoulder, grinning. "Rose, you're not going to sleep now, are you?" She opened one eye at him. "No, of course not. It's called _relaxing_. Not that _you've_ ever heard of something like that."

"Oi!" She grinned at him, tongue poking out between her teeth. He chuckled. "You humans and your laziness. If it were for me-"

"If it _were_ for you", she interrupted him, her smile not faltering, "You'd be bouncing around and never let me sleep."

"That's not sleep, that's hibernating."

"That's _six hours_ , Doctor."

"Still", he muttered, pouting but not being able to cross his arms, since one of them was still wrapped around Rose.

Rose laughed. "A child, you are. A pouting, 900-year-old alien child."

He sucked in air between his teeth. "Oh, mind you, ninehundred and _four_!", he stressed and made Rose laugh and pat his chest. "Sorry."

She closed her eyes again and the Doctor chuckled. "So", he stated, leaning his head on hers, his fingers drawing absent-minded circles on her shoulder. "As for tomorrow ... what do you say that after our visit on Pappanicolopolous we head for London? But in the 90s, you know, there was this great thing ... an art gallery, this, um, this artist had an exhibition - what was his name again ... Howard? ... Howard Da-something, couldn't quite catch his name back then - weeeell, when I say it was 'great' it means I don't really remember much, but it was a positive event - at least I hope so - and you'd like it, I think ..."

He stopped when she gave no reaction and noticed her breathing had slowed down. The Doctor looked down at her and found her fast asleep, lips slightly parted, her head still on his shoulder. He smiled softly and just looked at her for a moment, drinking in her relaxed and content features, resisting the urge to brush his hand over her cheek.

Instead, he gently loosened his arm around her, put one on the side of her neck and slowly, carefully lowered her head to his lap - his other hand quickly grabbing a cushion to place it in it - being as gentle as he could, not daring to disturb her peaceful slumber.

So then Rose Tyler laid there, head resting on his lap, her legs still bent, taking long and even breaths. The only sounds in the room were their mingling heartbeats - her slow pace somehow slowing down his hectic and fast double beat - and their relaxed breathing.

The Doctor smiled down on her one more time, then he crossed his arms behind his neck and leaned back on the furniture. Above him, through the dome of the library, the universe waited for them, somehow giving them its approval.

A slow, peaceful, happy smile crept on the Doctor's lips at the thought of that and the weight of Rose's head on his legs. Everything was just right - the Doctor and Rose Tyler, in the TARDIS.

Just as it should be.

* * *

 **Please leave me a review! :D**


	2. 02 - On The Run

**Chapter two! :D**

 _ **Important:**_

 **I forgot to mention earlier, thanks to Jem56 for bringing this up: Time will be a full part of the story a couple of chapters later - the first two (or three) chapters are pre-Doomsday; Time will appear in this chapter and will come back later (permanently) - sorry for confusing you! D:**

 **The first three chapters are centered on the Rose/Doctor relationship until Time shows up, so be prepared for some serious fluff going down [before the breakdown but sshhh]**

* * *

 _Chapter 2 - On The Run_

Somehow she had ended up in his coat. It was way too big for her and hung off her shoulders, almost brushing the ground, but he had insisted and not requested it back yet. "You're soaking wet", he'd explained matter-of-factly while taking off the coat and wrapping it around her shivering form. She had snorted at him. "Oh, and what about you, 'cause I don't see you all nice and dry, mister!" He'd shot her a wink and clicked his tongue, saying something about his "superior Time Lord physiology", not paying any attention to her weak protests. "The wonderful thing about rain is, Rose, that you'll get dry again. If you're lucky." His argumentation had serious gaps but Rose had decided not to nag him about it, while she was actually quite happy.

The coat was warm and big and comfortable and so very _Doctor-ish_ she couldn't help but love it.

She was ripped out of her thoughts when the Doctor skipped around the corner. "What took you so long?", she shouted at him as he grabbed her hand and picked up a synched pace. "He was not as diplomatic as I thought", he replied, fiddling with the sonic screwdriver in his hands, eventually gave up after a few seconds of struggle and ran faster. "Turns out he really hates people walking in on him while he changes!"

"Yeah but what is he? Where's he from?"

"Well, it's not like we had a cuppa and a nice chat!"

"Oh, you don't say", Rose replied, rolling her eyes at him, stopping when he pulled her around another corner, the screeching noises behind them fading, "but you must've made some, oh, I dunno, _deductions_? It's not everyday the famous Howard Davies Johnson turns out to be an alien and tries to kill both of us because you were rude-"

"All I _did_ say was that that _one painting_ was a bit rubbish because of that lightning- oh. _That_ was the rude thing ..." He stopped running for a moment and looked at her as it finally dawned him, scratching his sideburn. Rose shot him a glare. He shrugged. "Yeaah, weell, on second thought I really shouldn've said that ..."

A blood-curling scream a couple of yards away. He grabbed her hand again, shooting her a mad grin, whispering "Run" and, despite the situation, they both giggled like complete loons as they continued running.

Until there was no where left to run to. A dead-end on a house wall. _That's it,_ the Doctor thought, _murdered by a furious artist who isn't even able to take the slightest hint of critique_ -

"There's an open window!", Rose suddenly exclaimed, pointing up the wall.

The window was about on the second floor - but under that there was a fire escape, just about one or two metres above the ground. Both exchanged a glance, a sly grin growing on both of their faces. They could do that ... without wasting another second, the Doctor and Rose jumped up the escape - while Rose had to give him a hand so he didn't fall back down right away - and grinned at each other triumphantly. He did a little bow. "After you, miss."

"Oi, do I look single to you?", she teased back as she hurried past him, maybe pressing her body to his a little more than it would have been necessary in the process, making him grin and click his tongue at her.

This all would have been very smooth, wouldn't Rose have tripped over the tip of the Doctor's coat; she stumbled, lost her balance and grabbed the Doctor's lapels to search for support but pulled him with her - they ended up on the (thankfully quite low) floor of a small room, all tangled up and laughing manically.

"Sorry", Rose breathed and felt him chuckle. The Doctor tried to push himself up and roll off her. "Oh no", he uttered a little huskily, "my pleasure". After a few moments, he managed to get up and extended a hand to her. Rose grimaced at him, took it and was hauled up to her feet again. Slowly, they began to take in their surroundings: it was a small, somewhat messy room with toys scattered across the floor - and a small, astonished girl standing in the middle of her carpet, staring at them with wide eyes. Alarmed, the Doctor took a step back, but Rose reached for his arm when she realized the girl didn't look scared - just interested and surprisingly fascinated. She was five, probably six and looked up at them with big, dark-blue eyes.

"Who are you, Mister? And who's that pretty lady?"

Both, Rose and the Doctor dared to smile at her. "I'm the Doctor and this is Rose. And who are you?", the Doctor said, gave Rose's hand a reassuring squeeze to signalize her his intention.

"I'm Time", the girl replied and peeked up at them, her freckled face full of wonder.

The Doctor grinned brightly. "Nice to meet you, Time. Would it be okay if we hide here for a little while?"

"Why, are you in trouble?"

"We've had a bit of a row with ... a friend of ours, yes."

"Oh. Well, I guess it's okay. But I gotta ask my Mum first-"

"Actually, you can't tell anyone we're here, Time", the Doctor said quickly and shot Rose a quick glance, who jerked her head at him, motioning him to continue. Before he could say anything, Time asked: "Why not", eyeing them suspiciously. "Are you really here?"

The Doctor stopped. "Yes", he replied finally after a moment of hesitation, "Why?"

"Because my dreams always tell me I can't tell my Mum about them - you, I mean."

"What?"

"Well, they look like you, though. You always come in and say you're a secret."

Rose smiled carefully and knelt down next to the girl, laying a gentle hand on her shoulder while the Doctor quickly scanned the room, his eyes still fixed on the girl in front of them.

"They tell you we're a secret?", Rose asked, her eyes flitting over Time's face.

"No, _you_ say you're a secret. And that you gotta find your blue box."

Rose and the Doctor exchanged a quick, warning glance. Gently, Rose prodded further, her mind racing. "What else do we do? Can - Time, can you tell me what exactly happens in your dreams?"

The young girl shrugged. "Well, you always come in through the window, all dirty and ragged. You're always wearing this coat and it's way too big and I think that's because it's his. But anyway, you see me and then your friend says he's the Doctor and that you're Rose. You ask if I can stay, I say yes, then he tells me I can't tell anyone you're here 'cause you're a secret 'cause you're travelling in a blue box an' it's very special, so if anybody found it you'd have to give it away. The Doctor always holds this strange blue light in my eyes. Then he looks really scared and drags you out." She had explained all of this in a calm and almost bored manner, but now a little pout formed on her lips as she crossed her arms and stared up at Rose accusingly. "You never even say goodbye."

"I'm sorry about that", Rose said softly, trying to keep her voice steady and rubbed the girl's shoulder, "I promise we'll have better manners this time. Is there something else you see, something that scares you?"

Time shook her head hesitantly. "No ... but I remember having another dream", she admitted slowly, her brow furrowed. "But in that one the Doctor was alone. He looked sad. I think you were somewhere else, did you go on holiday?"

Rose held back the gasp that was about to creep up her throat and felt the Doctor's sharp gaze on her back; she found his eyes which were filled with both concern and confusion.

The woman took a shaky breath and averted her gaze from him to face Time's blue eyes again. "Y-yeah", she replied, forcing a smile on her lips, "I ... I went on holiday. It was nice."

"Oh." The girl nodded, lighting up a little and bounched up and down on her heels. "I think he missed you, though."

His brow furrowed, the Doctor crouched down next to them and pulled out his sonic screwdriver. Rose flitted her eyes between him and the girl as he asked through grited teeth: "Is there anything else?" Rose was shocked by the force in his voice he addressed the little girl with.

Time cocked her head to one side and watched the sonic closely.

"Is that the part where you hold that weird blue light in my face?"

The Doctor nodded, his lips pressed together to a thin line, his brown eyes staring concentrated at the sonic screwdriver. Rose held her breath and watched the girl scrunch her nose when the light hit her closed eyes. She was a little scared at how casually Time stood there and let herself be scanned, as if this was nothing new for her.

Suddenly, the Doctor's eyes widened in shock.

His face was filled with fear. When he met Rose's eyes there was something else ... pain? Rose felt her breath hitch in her throat. "Doctor, what is it?", she breathed shakily and scrambled to her feet when he grabbed her wrist and pulled her up.

"We're going. Now", he replied, his voice sharp and harsh.

"What? Why?" Rose tried to free her wrist from his hand, but his grip was like steel as he pulled her along. "Doctor, tell me what's wrong! What did you see? What is it with this girl?"

"Nothing", he spat through gritted teeth and didn't let go of her hand when he opened the window.

"Why are you so scared of me?", Time's voice suddenly cut off Rose's protests and the Doctor froze. Slowly, he turned around and looked at the girl. She straightened her back and lifted her chin, her lower lip trembling. "Is it because of my dreams?"

The Doctor didn't answer. All he did was stare at her, his eyes dark and his face closed. That was what he always did when he looked deeper than he should, when he saw things he regret he ever saw.

Then, two words came over his lips that made Rose shiver at the sound of them.

"I'm sorry."

Then, he turned around and climbed out of the window, brushing Rose's arm with his hand as he passed her. Within a second, he was gone.

Rose stood there, completely frozen, her eyes glued to the little girl.

"I'm so sorry", she finally choked out, "You're not scary, Time. He's just ... it was a long day. He's a little stressed out, you know. He didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable, I'm sure of that." She managed a smile. "Goodbye, Time."

Time smiled at her and Rose noticed a gap between her front teeth. The girl waved at her.

"Bye, Rose. Thanks for remembering today."

Rose nodded and went to turn around, but Time's voice made her turn around. "Oh, and ... can you tell the Doctor not to worry?"

Rose smiled. "Sure. Thanks for letting us stay, Time. Have ... have a fantastic day, okay?"

Time grinned at her. "Okay." Then she turned around and ran through the door, little feet pounding over wooden stairs.

* * *

"Doctor?", Rose called out and peeked into the TARDIS, which she'd found standing in the backyard they had ended up in. The Doctor was standing in front of the console, his whole body shaking. "Doctor?", she repeated, this time a little louder. She shivered at the sight of his trembling, closed-off body. Slowly, she inched closer and streched out a hand for his arm. Before she could touch him, he jerked up and did what he did best: hide everything behind a mask of cheerful mania.

"Right, there you are, sorry for that, ready to go?"

"Doctor", Rose sharply cut him off and took a gentle hold of his arm before he could pull any more switches. "Please tell me what the sonic screwdriver told you about Time. There was something off about this girl and her dreams. What was that, Doctor? What dreams are those, what did you see?", she urged, searching for his eyes. He averted his gaze as if he was ashamed or even _afraid_ to look at her.

When he finally turned around he flashed her a bright smile. "Nothing!", he exclaimed, "I just wanted to get back to the TARDIS before our old chap Howard catched up with us, you know-"

"No, I _saw_ you were scared, something scared you, something made you run away from this little girl ..." her voice trailed off and she stared at him, her face blank. " _'I think you were somewhere else'_ ", she repeated, her voice flat. Her eyes flickered up to his, their gazes met. The Doctor's brown orbs were filled with pain. "Rose ...", he started but she interrupted him, her voice a mere echoe of herself. "She said you were alone and that you looked sad-"

Her eyes widened. "Is that why you were so scared? Why you didn't want to tell me?"

"Rose, I ... I'm not sure if-"

"No, no, I _saw_ how horrified you were, you - she said I'd leave. But - but that's not gonna happen!", Rose spoke hotly, her voice growing stronger with each syllable, her hands clenched to fists, "I _promised_ I'd never leave you, Doctor! So how could I-"

" _Rose_ ", he cut her off, sharply, grabbing both of her arms, locking his gaze with hers. "The sonic screwdriver gave me a result of her DNA and it's completely human, it's perfectly normal, that's why I didn't find anything at first - but then I scanned her eyes and y _ou should have seen that_. It was like this girl holds an entire universe inside of her, and she sees, Rose, she _sees_ _everything_. Future, past, dust and air, darkness and light ... possibilities." He paused and looked down.

"Are you saying she saw the future?"

"She saw a possibility, Rose. The possibility of you being ripped away from me but _I'm_ not gonna let that happen, either. It doesn't necessarily have to happen."

"But it scared you", Rose muttered, her brow furrowing.

The Doctor sighed and took her hands, rubbing his thumbs over her knuckles, his eyes growing softer. " _Of course_ I was worried. Loosing you always distresses me. Let alone the possibility of you getting hurt."

"Oh, there'd be your Oncoming Storm Mode", Rose joked flatly and flashed him a short, uncertain smile but wasn't at ease yet. "I won't leave you", she mumbled and dropped her gaze, heart fluttering in her chest like a caged bird. He smiled softly and quickly wrapped his arms around her, pulling her in for a hug. "I know", he murmured into her hair as his hands rubbed her back soothingly, her clutched at the fabric of his suit, "I'm not going to leave you behind, either. You signed up, remember?"

She smiled weakly into his chest, fighting back the urge to sob into his shirt at his words and the way he held her in his arms like that without ever having heard those words from him.

The Doctor took a shuddering breath and felt her tremble against him. He wanted to tell her, so desperately he urged the words to come off his lips but no sound came forth.

 _I love you._

 _Please don't leave me._

His hands drew gently cirlces on her back; Rose was melted against him, one hand on his neck, the other one on his shoulder.

They stood like this for a while until Rose spoke up: "But what about that girl, Time? Will she be okay?"

"Well, I don't know how much being able to predict a possible future and also looking into the past counts as okay, but ... let's just hope her parents know about it and give her the right guidance. If everything goes well, she'll be fine." He hesitated. "If not ..." He fell silent, fiddling with the ends of her hair. Rose pulled back and looked up at him.

"If not what, Doctor?"

The smile he gave her was sad and full of pity. "That's what I was sorry for."

* * *

 **Hello wee Time Winters! :D**

 **Please leave me a review and tell me what you think! :D Until then, thanks for reading and keep safe!**

* * *

 **Chapter 3: 03 - One Last Touch**

* * *

 **Wow, okay, this chapter goes from stupidly silly to stupidly cheesy real fast ... but I dunno, I quite like it? Somehow? :'D**

 **Hope you'll enjoy this one! :D**


	3. 03 - One Last Touch

**Wow, okay, this chapter goes from stupidly silly to stupidly cheesy real fast ... but I dunno, I quite like it? Somehow? :'D**

 **Hope you'll enjoy this one! :D**

* * *

 _Chapter 3 - One Last Touch_

A couple of weeks had gone by since they had met the girl with the eyes of the universe. It had startled both of them but they had tried not to dwell on it too much. Instead, they focused on their now, or even better, on their now _together_.

Rose tried not to laugh when the Doctor emerged from her pile of clothes, gasping dramatically. "Whyy", he whined and shot her his best pout. "Why, Rose, whyy?"

She giggled and tapped a finger on his nose, snatching the bright pink top he held in his hands from him. "Because I barely had any clothes left, you genius."

"Yes, but why did Jackie decide to wash everything you have ever owned?", he complained, ogling a neon orange crop top with obvious disdain. "Oh, glad you've never worn _this_ before!"

He just laughed when she threw a jumper at him.

"Oh, by the way, did I mention Mum washed some of _your_ clothes as well?", Rose smirked evilly, her eyes sparkling with mischief. The Doctor's eyes went wide. "I felt free to give her some of your suits along with ..." She stopped, obviously enjoying the panicked look on his face. "You _didn't_...", he breathed, eyeing her unbelievingly.

"Oh yes, I did."

He gasped for air and Rose would have rolled her eyes at his dramatist behaviour but grinned instead and mouthed the words "Catch me" before she dashed away from his hands that already tried to grab her.

She fled through the cool corridors of the TARDIS, gasping for air through her laughter when he scrambled after her, shouting "Betrayal! Get back here, evil traitor!" but Rose could hear the tease in his voice. She shrieked when he catched up to her and wrapped his arms around her waist, tried to wriggle free but his grip was firm. "Gotcha", he breathed into her ear huskily, spinning their bodies around and waggled, his arms still around her, back into the room.

"No fair", Rose pouted, leaning her head back on his chest, "You've got longer legs."

He smirked and clicked his tongue. Then, he added, more serious: "But back to the issue at hand." She smirked. "Right."

"You, Rose Tyler, have violated every rule known to both men and Time Lords."

Why did everytime he said her name like that make her knees go weak? Why did he have to say this completely ordinary name she hadn't found much fondness in the previous nineteen years of her life, like it actually _mattered_?

His brown eyes twinkled at her. "And by the rightful laws of the Shadow Proclamation you shall now receive your punishment."

For a couple of seconds, both of them held their breaths, gazes locked, trying to hold up a serious expression, both waiting for the other one to make a move.

The moment ended when the Doctor suddenly got a hold on her and threw her on the bed, tickling her relentlessly.

"No, ooh, have mercy!", Rose cried, gasping for air as she wriggled under his touch but he just laughed and continued ghosting his fingers over her side.

"Say you're sorry for washing it without my knowing!"

"No", Rose gasped and yelped when he went for her neck. "Rose", he warned and finally, when she could catch her breath to say "Alright, alright, I'm sorry! Sorry!", he stopped mid-track, his face only inches away from hers.

"Right you are", he smirked and pulled her up by her hands but not letting her get up from the bed; instead, he pulled her against him, settling against the head of the narrow bed.

They spent a few minutes in silence and heavy breathing, leaned against each other, until Rose started fiddling with his tie and straightened it. The Doctor couldn't help but smile at that simple gesture and marvel at the way her fingers smoothed over the fabric of his suit.

"You're not really upset though, aren't you?", Rose asked and looked up at him, her whiskey eyes making him feel dizzy.

The Doctor grinned and tightened his grip around her, resting his head on hers.

"Nah, I could never be angry at you.", he muttered and felt Rose chuckle. Once against, silence fell over them. He liked the silence they had. It was not the kind of awkward, uncomfortable silence he'd been in way too often but comfortable and pleasant because they both knew there were no more things needed to be said, that it was okay just to be with each other, simply enjoying their presence.

She asked him what they'd do about the clothes now. He replied he really had no idea and she laughed at that, making him grin.

He remembered him telling her in his ninth body he didn't want any domestics.

How he would have scoffed at them, seeing them now, all giddy and loony and domestic. He'd loathed the word back then, had been so scared of it he looked back on it with slight embarassment. Maybe it was just because of her.

They'd spent Christmas together, at a proper Christmas _Dinner_ with turkey and mashed potatoes and _everything_.

 _He_ would have never done that, back then.

But then Rose happened. The Doctor smiled. Yes. She had simply _happened_ , in a crashing, good kind of spontaneousity.

The hold of a hand, that had been all it had taken him to fall for her.

Rose sighed against his neck and linked her arms around his middle, closing her eyes. The Doctor resisted the urge to simply take her face in his hands and kiss her.

Not that he _wouldn't_ do it, but it would have destroyed this simple moment that required nothing else than the silence and comfortable contact between the two of them.

His hand found her hair.

Smiling, the Doctor gazed on her freshly washed clothes that were scattered all over the place, along with a lost tie of him or a attempted-to-be-folded shirt of his.

It was all so very _domestic_.

But that was okay because it was with her.

* * *

They sat in the doorway of the TARDIS, their feet dangling over the edge, faces dipped in the light of the Rose Galaxy, her head on his shoulder.

"The Rose Galaxy is going to be discovered on earth in only 2012", the Doctor's voice softly explained into her hair, his fingers weaving through the soft strands that glistened in the starlight. "HUBBLE will categorize it as Arp 273, in the Andromeda Constellation." Rose hummed and adsent-mindedly drew butterfly-like patters on the back of his hand. The sight of her relaxed, lost-in-thoughts face made his hearts flutter and filled his whole body with a mingling, pleasant warmth.

"Legends has it, though", he continued, a grin spreading on his face when she perked up, "that there once had been a man, his name foreign to the stars, an anchient Lord of Time with old eyes that haven't seen as much of the universe as he would like. And this man had fallen for a human, her hearts held promises he would never have dreamed of, since he was old and bitter and full of self-loathing, for he had done terrible things in his past. Of course, she fell for him too, after some time and when she devoted herself to him, the man decided to repay her by asking the universe to remember her name. So he created the Rose Galaxy, formed in the shape of a flower just like her name. And since that day, her name was written in the stars." He paused, waiting anxiously for her reaction and added when she didn't say anything, scratching his sideburn: "'s just a legend of course, a stupid old tale to amuse people ... makes the whole thing a lot more cheesy that it really is ... it's all just gas and explosions, of course, but ..." He trailed off suddenly when he felt her body tremble against his and heard her give a small huff. He loosened his arms around her and cradled her face in his hands, fingers brushing her cheeks. "Rose, are you _crying_?"

"Shut up", she sniffed, a small laugh escaping her lips as she wiped her eyes with the sleeves of her jumper, "What d'you expect, telling me things like that?"

To her surprise, he was laughing softly and he wrapped his arms back around her, burying his head in her neck. "Oh Rose", he breathed against her skin, "my brilliant, _fantastic_ Rose."

She buried herself in his hug and inhaled the scent of him that reminded her old books, the TARDIS and rising suns on a new planet and _home_.

His hands rubbed her back until her sniffles had died down. He pulled back and brushed her hair out of her eyes, smiling affectionately at her. "I'm sorry for making you cry", he muttered, his eyes plunging into hers (Rose wished she didn't know what her eyes looked like after she'd cried).

She offered him a smile and he gladly accepted it and returned it multiplied.

Rose couldn't help but grin at that and closed her eyes, leaning back against his chest, enjoying the way he instinctly wrapped his arms tightly around her waist and held her as if he never wanted to let go; not until she would pull back.

Why was it that he looked at her like that when he had entire galaxies to his feet, stars in his eyes and all of time and space, like she was the only thing he payed attention to in this moment?

He didn't understand, neither of them did. Though maybe it really didn't need to be _understood_ but simple action. He never questioned why he tasted her name on his lips like an eternal promise, or why he couldn't help but smile when his eyes catched hers, or why he sometimes only needed to simply hold her hand because his hand felt empty and they simply _fit_.

He didn't need to understand why they just didn't say it in moments like this, how they hadn't said it a million times in-between.

The only thing he needed to understand and know was that she would stay.

She'd stay because she had promised, it was just as simple as that.

And if that would be the only thing he'd ever be sure of in the entire universe, he was was fine with that.

* * *

 **Aaah right, the replies to my lovely guests, höhö ...**

 **wow (guest): Oh my goodness, thank you so much?! :D I'm so happy you like the story (also, I'm sorry I made you cry oh glob)! I'll try to update as much as I can ;D**

 **Jem56: Oh dear, I'm sorry I forgot to explain - I mentioned it in the last chapters' note, I hope you're less confused now! D: Sorry again! (But I'm really, really glad you like the story, thanks! :D)**

 **A review would make my day, please tell me what you think so far! :D**


	4. Special: Empty Space

**A/N: I'm sorry**

* * *

 _Special: Empty Space_

* * *

The Doctor opened his eyes and knew it had been a dream.

He expected to find Rose asleep in his arms, snoring ever so lightly, mouth slightly agape, hair tousled all over her face.

It took the air out of his lungs when he didn't.

Time stood still as the Doctor slowly got up and stared at the empty space beside him.

Then, everything crashed down, all at once.

Hands reached for hair, pulling and raking and almost ripping, his mouth opened for a soundless scream, silenced by the painful, choked sobs that shook his whole, beaten body.

She was gone. _Gone, gone, gone, gone._

Forever.

 _How long are you going to stay with me?_

 _Forever._

He couldn't breathe. His clammy hands found the edge of the console - how did he even get here? - and the cold metal almost burnt against his palms, leaving his skin rashed and stinging red.

Did their promise mean nothing to the universe? Was that the reward for saving galaxy after galaxy, saving millions of people? Was it the punishment for the millions of others he had killed? Was that the universe's way of doing it, first giving him the taste of hope and love and then ripping it away from him without even giving him a chance to say goodbye?

Grief turned into fury, fury turned into frustration and back again.

The Doctor screamed, his conspirary bypass finally kicking in and giving him the air, his whole body was on fire. It didn't help when he slammed his fists against the console, again and again, until his knuckles were red and he couldn't see anymore.

 _Is that what you're gonna do with us? You leave us behind?_

 _No. Not you._

Another punch, the scream just wouldn't end, why didn't it end?

 _I made my choice a long time ago and I'm never gonna leave you._

By now he couldn't even tell anymore if that was him screaming or just the voices in his head.

 _I'm so glad I met you._

 _Me too._

Finally, his screams died down, maybe from the lack of air, maybe from the exhaustion, he didn't know. His legs gave away and he sank down against the coral, breathing heavily, his fingers tearing at his hair, not bothering anymore to wipe the tears away.

It was over, she was gone.

He'd never see her again. All that was left of them now were broken promises and bitter memories, gaps that would never be refilled again.

The Doctor remembered screaming at her to hold on, screaming her name and finding her eyes one last time.

Their last touch had been a casual brush of his fingers against her shoulder, more of an unconscious, encouraging action as she had hurried past him.

Oh, how he wished now he would have held her one more time. Maybe it would have been easier now. Or it would just hurt him more.

His head fell on his knees, breaths still ragged, hands still searching for hers without finding them, her names on his lips like a prayer.

 _Don't leave me like this._

* * *

 **There. Doomsday (supposedly on a Tuesday), breaking my heart, crushing my feels, making me put it into a short special just for the Doctor's emotions to be all over the place.**

 **Thanks to everyone who has faved, followed and reviewed! :D**

* * *

 **Ah, and Jem56, this 'ere 's for you mate! [SCOTTISH INTENSIFIES]**

 **Aaww thanks a lot! :D Weeell, I don't want to spoiler but - ugh nope, scratch that, you can BET Rose will come back! (It's my reason for writing this story after all, making her come back and giving things a happy ending, sooo ...) Because, let's be honest, we all know the Doctor needs her, right? ;D**

* * *

 **I'd be more than happy about a review! :D**


	5. 05 - Time

**I think it's Time! [*looks around, rubbing hands nervously* ... yeah? Get it, Time ...? It's .. time ... no? Okay sorry I don't know why I thought this was funny]**

 **Allons-y!**

* * *

 _Chapter 4 - Time_

 _Cold, big raindrops drummed against the blind glass of a bus stop._

 _She had found shelter here._

 _Sitting huddled up, shoulders slumped, her hands between her knees, she resisted the darkness of the night._

 _A watcher would have seen her dark, shaken expression and the defensive pose of her small body. And a close watcher would have noticed her tired, grieved eyes, the crisp, thin lips and the scars all over the calloused hands she tried to hide. Some of them would still be fresh, stinging wounds._

 _And yet, she was still dreaming._

 _They were small and fragile but, still, dreams._

 _She closed her eyes for a while. She dared now but was still afraid of the things to come. Her feet were burning from the long run. On the inside, she was still running, her feet beating constantly on the wet, slippery ground, sometimes tripping and falling, but always getting up again, carrying her exhausted, beaten body on and on._

 _She didn't even know what she was running from - fear, pain, judgement, she had forgotten._

 _Maybe it was all of it together, or maybe she just tried to run forward and tried to skip a part of her life._

 _But even if she didn't know what she was trying to escape or where she would go, there was one thing she was sure about:_

 _She couldn't escape the dreams._

* * *

Time Winters shivered and pulled the sleeves of her jumper down until they fully covered her fingers. The winter still hung off the air, rustling through the trees with an icy breath.

The dreams still hadn't stopped.

She just saw their faces, over and over, and it weren't just the dreams. Voices had started mixing with the visions that occured multiple times a day, promises of forever and whispers of loss.

The promises had died down by now. Most of the times her mind was filled with one word when she dreamed and she wondered where she had seen that face before, from where she knew that name.

Stuffing her hands in the pockets of her hoodie, Time picked up a faster pace and had to keep herself from running. _Stop it,_ her mind screamed at her, _you're not in danger anymore. They lost the track. It's fine. You're not going back._

 _I'm not going back._

That had been her motivation for the last few weeks, the thought that had been keeping her sane and fighting.

The crowded streets she moved through felt like a giant weight on her chest. The sight of all those peolpe made her dizzy and she wished she was one of them. _Any_ of them.

She wondered how many of the passing people had a family and if they were happy with their lives. If any of them knew how lucky they were that their dreams were just dreams.

The buzzing streets and crowds of people were beginning to suffocate her; Time would have almost let out a groan of relief when she found a bend a couple of metres away from her and dived in, hoping for the rising panic to settle down as soon as she got away from the loud, buzzing crowds.

She turned left and leaned against the cold bricks of the wall, trying to take deep, steady breaths. Her legs gave in.

Soon. Soon she would continue walking.

A slight desperation crawled up her chest when she realized she didn't even know where she was going and why she kept moving. It wasn't like she had any destionation, anywhere to go or anyone to run to.

It was pointless.

And yet, she wouldn't stop, even if she didn't know why. Maybe the road would lead her to the dreams and the faces she couldn't forget but also didn't remember.

Time closed her eyes and breathed out.

Five more seconds. She would allow herself five more seconds of weakness, then she'd get up.

One.

 _My name is Time Winters._

Two.

 _I'm sick of the dreams._

Three.

 _I'm scared._

Four.

 _But I'm not broken._

Five.

 _I'm not going back._

She opened her eyes and pushed herself up against the wall, collecting herself for a second, then she shouldered the backpack again and moved down the narrow street, the shadows following her. The girl blew out small puffs of air and wondered when the winter would end.

It was February already, almost March. In a little more than one month, she'd be seventeen. What a strange thought.

She stopped mid-track when her blood suddenly froze, her whole body started to tremble. This was it. Another beginning of another vision, swallowed by the silence of the street.

Suddenly, it was dark.

Wrecks around her.

She turned around and saw the running figure, its legs beating the wet ground in a desperate, rapid beat. _Thud, thud, thud, thud._

Time held her breath and waited - but he kept running. Why was he still running? Panic flooded over her - the vision changed, it started to change, why did he get closer to the woman, where was the shot?

With a gasp, Time lost her balance and hit the wall. Trembling, she held herself up against it, her breath coming out as small, laboured pants as the vision cleared away. The darkness was gone, as were the running figures and the wet street full of burning wrecks.

She took a deep breath and straightened her back, knowing her eyes had gone back to normal by now. With a small huff, she pushed off the cold stone and continued her walk.

Her hands started to itch and burn again. Grimacing Time rubbed the stinging flesh of her wrists and hands. The fingers weren't so bad, most of the wounds had affected the backs of her hands and the palms and raked up her wrists.

It was a tiny moment of carelessness, a quick slip of her attention.

She should have heard the voices.

She should have heard the stomping of footsteps and the animalistic growls.

Time found herself standing right in the line. She froze, her brain beginning to get a grasp on the situation and the probable ending of it. Her eyes catched sight of a man standing in front of the big, dark-furred _beasts_ , staring at her with wide eyes, his brown coat fluttering in the breeze, wild brown air sticking up in the air, his mouth forming a silent "No".

Then, everything went way too fast.

A hand, warm and strong, grabbed hers and pulled her away, a voice shouted "Run!" and then she stumbled along, panting, confused and terrified through the street, the man in the coat pulling her with him. When she ripped her hand out of his grip, he shot her a quick glance. Time felt the urge to run in the opposite direction, away from this man and his mad eyes, but something made her shout instead: "Who _are_ you?"

"I'm the Doctor!", he shot back triumphantly. Time froze for a second, but he grabbed her hand again and pulled her around a corner.

Her thoughts were racing, blood rushed through her ears. "Wait - Doc ... Doctor ..." Frantically, she tried to clear her mind and clear up the blurry image of the man with the wild hair and manic eyes - _they were so familiar_ \- and the blonde woman in the long brown trenchcoat that hung off her shoulders like it wasn't hers - "Wait, I've seen you before!", she broke out, raking her hands through her hair, "You, you broke into my room, through the window!"

The man - _Doctor_ \- let out a rasp laugh, picking up her slower pace, stuffing his hands into his pockets. "Yeah, sorry for that, we didn't mean to startle you. We were in a bit of a hurry that day."

His hands fumbled with a key and he carefully opened up the door to the blue police box - Time didn't even pay attention to her surroundings as pictures started flooding her mind. He pulled her inside as she stared at him with wide eyes, trying to remember that day he and that woman had suddenly crashed down on her floor. Time gasped and jerked her head in his direction. "Wait - you're ... you're alone ...", she reasoned slowly, turning around, "What ... where's that woman you were with, what happened to Rose?" _Rose_. That had been her name.

She saw the way his whole body suddenly stiffened, how the smile froze on his lips and slowly vanished completely, as if it never existed. His eyes grew cold at the mention of her name and she could almost hear something inside crack.

"She's ... gone.", he spat through gritted teeth and thin lips, turning away from her. "I lost her."

Time felt her heart shatter when everything suddenly came together: the running figures, the woman in the same coat he was wearing now, that name - Rose was gone, the kind woman was gone, and Time had seen it.

"What do you mean, _lost_?"

He didn't answer.

She pulled down her sleeves and asked "What happened?", not wanting to drop this right now.

"It doesn't matter", he snapped and swept past her in a flourish. "She's not here anymore."

"Then where is she?"

"In a parallel universe."

"She left you?" Time eyed him as he turned around and leaned against the bannister next to her, his face twisted to a bitter snarl.

"No", the Doctor growled and stared at her with a dark look, his brow furrowed. "She was ripped away from me, in a matter of seconds. She wouldn't have left me just like that, no, she slipped, right through my fingers and I wasn't able to catch her in time." He tried to ignore the sound of his own voice breaking and how his breath hitchen in his throat. Instead, he tried to concentrate on the face in front of him.

"I'm sorry", Time repeated and now her voice was softer. His gaze was cold. "It doesn't matter.", he growled again and earned a bitter smile from her.

"You and her, were you ...?"

"I don't want to talk about it, please, just ... just let it be, Time. It's okay. I'm ... she's", he stopped for a second, trying to collect himself and calm down, "she's fine, she's alive, living her life and that's fantastic.", he reasoned, almost functional. "I'm alright", he added then, for good measure.

Time flinched at the obvious pain in both his voice and expression. That man in front of her - or whatever he was - was broken.

She forced herself to tear away from his face and started paying conscious attention to her surroundings. A gasp escaped her lips.

"Hang on a tick, you pulled me into the-" Her feet carried her to the entrance and fumbling fingers unlocked it - _he had locked them inside a police box?_ \- pushed the door open and before the Doctor could stop her, Time spun around.

There, in front of her, was a blue box. A blue _police_ box, to be exact.

"It's bigger on the inside", was the only thing she managed to whisper, the only one of the million thoughts buzzing through her head she was able to voice. A slow smile spread on her lips, tugging gently on the corners of her mouth.

"What kind of technology is that?", she asked and finally the questions started flooding out of her as she ran her fingers over the wood of the box, stepping around it. "Don't you travel with this? Is that the box you told me about when I was five? How does it work?"

"Hold on, hold on", he interrupted her, waving his hand, but Time heard the smile in his voice. The corners of his eyes creased with the delighted smile when he stepped outside next to her.

"That's Time Lord technology you're looking at", he explained and gently caressed the blue wood, "it's not _actually_ a telephone box - weell, it is, technically, but that's just the looks, the camouflage, the cover for the big lot of timey wimey stuff inside and the senses of the TARDIS-"

"Wait, so you mean it can think?", Time asked, her eyes big with wonder. His eyes twinkled at her question.

" _She_ communicates, talks, is aware of pressure, problems in the Time Vortex - the, er, _stuff_ , we move through when we're travelling in time - and, yeah, she's called the TARDIS, actually. Time And Relevant Dimensions In Space."

When he finished he watched Time carefully, holding out for signs of fear. Instead, her lips spread to a wild grin. "Wow", she breathed, her big blue eyes wide with wonder, possibilities and the universe. The Doctor felt a strange warmth crawl up his chest at the sight of her, along with a small sting of pain, faint but still there.

The last time he'd seen her, Rose still had been with him. They had stumbled across her in a park, standing alone, a couple of metres away from a group of giggling girls. They couldn't quite catch what they had been saying but heard something like "Time", "weirdo" and "nightmares", "cried for a Doctor, it was pathetic".

Rose had given him this _It's Not Fair And You Know This I'm Ready For Some Justice Around Here Look._ "Don't", he had whispered and pulled her away from the small group, behind a tree. "You can't change the way they think."

"Oh, you bet I can! We may not know the whole conversation but they're saying some horrible things about her! How can we just-"

"What difference would it make, Rose? They'll shut up for a week or two, but then they'll find something new.", he'd sighed and given her arm a gentle squeeze.

She had scruntinized him with a dark look, making him shrink at that. Eventually, she huffed: "Can we at least talk to _Time_ and be nice?"

He had sighed again at the sight of her challenging puckered lips and her glowing cheeks. A roll of his eyes and an exasperated groan told her she'd won. A big, delighted grin had spread on her face as she grabbed his hand. "C'mon!"

He'd chuckled at her impression of his former northern accent and let her pull him over the grass, strolling over to the girl. Her eyes still hadn't changed, the same shade of dark-blue with the dots of a lighter shade around her pupils, her body seemed quite fragile and petite. Her hazelnut hair was shorter and a dark-red coloured side-swept fringe framed her oval, freckled face. Rose had given Time one of her best, special Rose-smiles, the ones that made _him_ feel all warm and fuzzy inside and gave him hope. "Chin up, sweetheart, it's a beautiful day ... not to say fantastic ..."

The girl had looked at them with a face of surprised recognition, but before she could say anything, the Doctor had already taken Rose's hand and they both strolled over the meadow.

But when the Doctor had thrown a look back before he'd stepped into the TARDIS, he had seen Time standing there, looking down, a soft peaceful smile on her lips. He'd set it one the list of things he wouldn't have done if Rose hadn't been there.

She was the warm care to his carelessness, the worry about the storytellers instead of the stories.

"Doctor?", Time's voice snapped him back to reality. He scrubbed a hand over his face and sighed. "Sorry", he drawled and cleared his throat when he found himself staring at her hands. Long, white and pale-pink scars covered them and raked up her wrists, even down to her fingers. A faint light-headedness rushed over him at the sight of them. Some of the scars still looked somewhat fresh, as if the wounds weren't so long gone.

"What happened to you?", he heard himself say and watched her flinch, "after we left."

Time's eyes widened for a second, her heart pounding hard against her ribs, the smile died on her lips and her eyes grew cold like a star-less night.

A scarred hand pulled down the sleeves of her red hoodie until it fell over her fingertips. She kept avoiding his eyes and seemed to find great interest in a loose thread on her left sleeve.

"Not much. Stuff. Events. I know places, y'see.", she replied and gritted her teeth at him. So she had chosed to keep quiet about her parents.

But her eyes told him stories her words didn't.

Again, the Doctor felt a wave of pity wash over him at the sight of the girl.

Slowly, he nodded. "So ... you still live here?"

Time moved her shoulders in a vague fashion and did a lot of "Well"s and wild gestures. Finally, she got out: "Not exactly."

"And by _that_ you mean ...?"

"I ran away."

"What now, just like that?" The Doctor raised an eyebrow. Time's eyes scrutinized him challengingly. "I have a backpack. And some damn fine stamina."

He stopped, staring at the rather tiny girl in front of him who held her head high and looked him straight in the eyes now. "Wait, if you say you ran away ... you mean actual _running_?"

Her answer was a firm nod. The Doctor sucked in teeth between his teeth.

"Not bad, I'm impressed."

Time flashed him a short smile, then dropped her gaze again. After a moment of silence and her rapid heartbeat, she asked: "So, what kind of doctor are you, anyway?"

He grinned. Same old game. "Oh, just the Doctor."

"So you're not an actual Doctor, then."

"Nope", he replied, popping the 'p' and bounced on his heels, hands twisted behind his back, always keeping his eyes on her. Slowly, Time uttered: "Then what are you?"

Their eyes met.

"Time Lord", he told her dead in the face.

"Alien?"

He confirmed, she nodded.

"Thought so. Kinda obvious, really."

"Where do you live?" The question had escaped his mouth before he could control himself and immediately regretted asking. Stuffing his hands in his pockets, he stared down.

Time huffed. "No where permanent as you might have guessed. I mean, it's okay, I find some places, just found an old library-"

"I'd have something permanent", he told her and eyed her from the side. Time gawked at the man in front of her. The man with the voice and the face that were so alien and yet so familiar. Where was this going?

"You can stay here, if you want. With me.", the Doctor muttered and awkwardly shuffled on his feet, suddenly feeling _really_ old and _really_ creepy. _How must she feel?_ , he thought miserably, _That girl is sixteen, at least! A total stranger - who's an alien, by the way - asking her to live on his spaceship with him! Oh bother, why did I even ask -_

"I'd love to.", she suddenly answered.

And he could have sworn, one of his hearts skipped a beat. "Wait, what?" The Time Lord stared at her. Did she really just say that or was his all too lonely mind playing tricks on him? "What?", he repeated.

Time shrugged. "Well, you're offering me a place to stay, you're obviously very lonely and very sad and _very_ bored and need someone to talk to 'cause I'm sure you'll go crazy if you don't do that some time soon." She grinned at him. "So, sign me up, I'm in!"

With a smirk, she hopped into the TARDIS, leaving a completely baffled Doctor who felt a quick streak of gried mix with the sudden euphoria at her words.

 _Sign me up._

 _Her_ words had almost been the same. _'That's it, I'm signing up. You're stuck with me, ha!'_

"What's that blue stuff inside that vibe-thingy?", Time called out from the inside and the Doctor sighed, groaning inwardly.

"Don't touch anything!", he called out and stepped inside the blue box, locking the door behind him with a soft, familiar click.

* * *

 **I'll update The Universe In Her Eyes every Tueday from now on - Doomsday Tuesday, huh - so stay tuned and thanks for reading! A review would maaake my day! :D**

* * *

 _ **Jem56: Oh yes ... me too, friend, me too ... u_u**_


	6. 06 - Have TARDIS, Will Travel

Wow, finally I get around to post this chapter! I've had this one finished for a while but had no chance to update TUIHE since we went on holiday, sorry! D:

Here's the Doctor's and Time's first trip, some misunderstandings and a lot of hiding!

* * *

 _Chapter 06 - Have TARDIS, Will Travel_

* * *

 _She asked him to go home. He smiled and took her hand. They both knew the meaning of it. Home. They didn't expect someone to understand, but making each other their home inside a box was enough for them._

 _He opened the door to the TARDIS and she was gone._

 _He turned around and felt his sight grow dim and dizzy as her touch slowly left his arm and her words suddenly became a memory._

" _I love you."_

He woke up from his own scream. When he had realized what had happened, he hid his face in his hands and didn't want to breathe.

"Rose?"

The only sound coming back to him was the echoe of his own, shaking voice and the soft hum of the TARDIS.

One would think he'd gotten used to this by now - three months gone, every night the same - but everytime still hit him so hard he forgot how to breathe. The Doctor tried to calm his frantic gasps for air, fingers tugging on hair, eyes staring restless into the darkness.

Sleep was just a concept.

He didn't need it and only _chose_ to sleep. He could easily live without it. Because, honestly, what did sleep give him? Only shadows, memories of hope and the presence of pain, her face chasing him through the darkness.

The Time Lord exhaled and rubbed a hand over his face.

He hoped Time wouldn't be up yet. He wouldn't want her seeing him like this; _nobody_ should ever see him like this.

They wouldn't understand.

* * *

When Time opened her eyes she didn't know where she was.

For a second, she felt cold panic tighten her chest but she relaxed when she found herself in an actual _bed_ and not on the creaking sofa she'd been sleeping on for the past two weeks.

Hands wandered up and rubbed sleep out of heavy eyes.

This wasn't the library.

She was lying in bed in a small but cozy-looking room with a drawer by the opposite wall and light-orange coloured walls. It had a feeling of secretiveness, like something was hiding under the surface of the neatly folded pieces of clothing and the bottle of water next to her bed on the small, beautifully carved nightstand next to her.

Slowly, she got up and had to grab the bedpost for support for a moment when she felt her head spin, her surroundings blurring.

 _Breathe in, breathe out. That's the trick. Just breathe._

It wasn't even a vision, she knew that, just mere exhaustion, her general sleep-deprivation, dehydration and lack of food.

Feet patted over to the door, scarred fingers reached out for the doorknob and pulled the door open. The girl froze when she heard the scream.

It made her blood freeze in her veins, shivers run down her spine and filled her chest with panic as she remembered.

She was in the TARDIS.

The blue box.

With the Doctor.

The Doctor, the alien with the mad eyes and the wild hair and the broken heart, screaming next door.

Her feet carried her towards the noise and stopped when it died down. She threw her head around, taking in too many things at once; the coolness of the floor under her feet, the flood of doors and corridors around her, the strange clean smell emitting from her whole surroundings, the still lingering presence of the blood-curdling scream in her ears, it was all too confusing and too much.

Time tried to pull herself together and find the console room again but it was like wanting to find a specific plant in a forest.

Eventually, she noticed a familiar light at the end of the corridor and sighed happily. Time stumbled into the room, a soft blue glow welcoming her.

"Morning!", a cheery voice greeted her and a second later, the grinning face of the Doctor appeared in front of her. He gestured her to step down to him and slowly she made her way down the staircase. "How did you sleep?", he asked, returning to his work at the console. Inwardly shaking herself, Time managed to close her jaw and moved forward to him. He seemed cheerful and not at all troubled, there was not a single evidence about him that it had been him who had been screaming.

"Um", she replied, remembering his question, "fine, thank you. Feels good sleeping in a proper bed again." He flashed her a short smile and a nod of his head. Her concern and curiosity got the better of her.

"Are you alright?"

"Huh?" He did not take his eyes off of the monitor. "Oh, yeah, I'm always alright, that's me!"

She almost scoffed at his faked cheeriness. _I'm gonna eat a brick if that wasn't him screaming,_ she thought and quickly went through the facts. _We're the only two persons on the TARDIS. I didn't scream, so it had to be him._ A sudden thought struck her. _What if it was a vision? If it was just the voices again, but this time another one? Another time? Future? Past? Maybe from when Rose was still there?_

Her eyes swam back to focus and decided to concentrate on his face. His eyes were dark and tired, circles under them. There was something about them that made Time shiver. The rest of his face looked so young, except for the eyes - they were the only thing about him that seemed anchient.

"So, where do you want to go?", the Doctor piped up, rubbing his hands, his old eyes scrutinizing her. Time stopped. _He_ was asking _her_ where to go? "I don't know", she replied out of reflex, maybe before she could say anything stupid, "you choose."

' _It's_ his _ship, after all'_ , she reasoned with herself, _'so he should choose where to go. And besides, where would I possibly like to go?'_ His smiled didn't falter and Time thought that, _maybe_ , she pushed his question away because she didn't want to have the power to decide.

"Alright, then!", he replied and - Time jumped to the side - dashed over to the opposite side of the console, pressing a couple of buttons. What followed was something Time decided to refer to as _The Time Dance_ in her head. "Allons-y!", he whooped and pulled a lever - an invisible force seemed to hit the TARDIS and made Time stumble as the ship turned almost sideways. The Doctor laughed as he hit the floor and extended his hand to help her up. "Sorry, forgot to warn you. She was designed for six drivers."

Time let out a rasp laugh, falling on the sofa next to the coral. "No wonder your driving style is so wonky."

"Oi! Now watch it, young madam, 'cause I'd really like _you_ to see landing an alien spaceship in the year 3407 in the Landraphalagus Constellation on the right moon!"

She chuckled and sat on her hands, bounching on the squeaky sofa.

"'s that where we're going?", she asked and he felt a wave of appreciation wash over him at the excited sound of her voice. The Doctor smiled and shook his head. "No. Something better - been to that one, just plain desert, there wasn't really much up, beautiful colourful sand though - but our destination is a surprise."

He grinned when she muttered something about not liking surprises under her breath.

Only a heartbeat later, the TARDIS came to a sudden halt.

Their gazes met, blue and brown collided like stars and time.

The broad grin was basically dripping off his words. "Go on. Take a look." The grin turned into a laugh when the girl dashed to the door and almost tore it open.

Sunlight hit her face.

Beautiful, warm, golden sunlight.

A sound in her ears, waves hitting boulders along with the wild laughter that wanted to escape her lungs and struggled to emit and she felt her heart wanting to burst when it finally did, so she stood in the sunlight, laughing like a maniac at its existance.

"I figured you'd be quite fed up with this whole cold-and-winter-rubbish", a voice softly commented behind her and she felt the Doctor stepping out of the TARDIS, giving her a gentle smile. "Welcome to the year 2547. It's the planet Peach - yes, they mixed up peaches with beaches, don't ask me how - and it's known for its, and I'm quoting right from the pamphlet, "beautiful calm beaches, tropical weather and picturesque sunsets", also, I think there is a thermal spring somewhere around here, we should have a closer look at the inner isles and I think I should stop talking now, so what do you think we just take off our shoes and take a walk for the start?"

All of this left his mouth in such a speed, Time had trouble to comprehend what he had proposed. She blinked at him, needing a couple of moments to progress his incredibly fast ramblings. Finally, she nodded and he grinned broadly at her, beginning to kick off his trainers.

She supressed a screeching sound in her throat when her bare feet dug into the sand and crooning inwardly, she curled her toes into the white, perfect sand.

The Doctor couldn't help but smile at the sight in front of him, thinking to himself that it was about time she's smiling a little again.

His good mood instantly vanished when he tore his eyes from the girl and realized how incredibly stupid he'd been.

Why did he think again taking her to a beach had been a good idea?

This was a mistake, he thought as his mind panicked at the sound of the waves and the feeling of sand under his shoes, making his heart ache. It was not the hard, wet sand under his feet he remembered - but it was enough to make him freeze. He felt Time's gaze on him and pushed his hands into the pockets of his coat, staring at the azure blue waves.

"Is something wrong?", the girl asked and he sniffed, grimacing at the smell that instantly flooded his senses.

"Don't like beaches.", he replied shortly, forcing himself to move his feet and together they stomped through the sand.

"Then why did you take me here?", Time questioned after a while and fiddled with the necklace around her neck.

"What's with the necklace?" He pointed to the band, ignoring her question. She stopped and pulled it up from under her hoodie after a moment of hesitation.

It was a hourglass, not bigger than her thumb, beautifully shaped and made of shiny brass, dangling from a bleached out brass band that almost reached her ribs. "It's pretty."

"Thanks.", Time replied and stuffed it back under her neckline, akwardly pulling on the hem of the red clothing. "My parents gave it to me."

"It suits you."

She looked at him as if he wasn't in his right mind. Her eyes said 'You can't be serious' but her lips formed the words "Thank you", then glued themselves shut and she turned her head straight on.

The Doctor squinted his eyes at the sun, trying to look at anything except the water, the sand and her - not many options except the sky. It was a shade of brilliant blue slowly fading to a brush of purple, the sun already lowering itself towards the horizon.

"We could watch the sunset, if you'd like", he mumbled after a while, not knowing what else to say. She smiled at him. "That would be nice.", she replied and stopped, kneeling down to take off her shoes. The Doctor just stood and waited, trying to ignore the sound of waves against the shore. Ehoes in his minds made his body go limp as he stood there, almost sure he saw _her_ standing there again.

Her eyes were filled with tears that threatened to fall and make their way down her cheeks and it pained him more than anything that he couldn't reach out and wipe them away. He ducked his head. "I'm not alone anymore, Rose", he whispered and fought the urge to reach out a hand.

"Doctor, you okay?"

Time's voice ripped him out of his thoughts - or had it been a dream? Was he finally going completely barmy? - and he winced inwardly, having expected a different voice to reply, guilt already washing over him.

It crept up his chest as he turned around, forcing a smile on his lips but it was probably more of a humourless smirk, a tired try to seem better than he was.

"Yes", he stated, quickly pushing his hands back into his pockets, not knowing what else to do with them. "I'm alright." He inwardly scoffed at that, his new favourite lie. "Let's walk a little more, I think over there are a couple of rocks for us to sit on."

She smiled at him, hesitantly. "To watch the sunset."

He nodded, not quite staring into space. "To watch the sunset.", he echoed weakly and let the girl take the lead.

Time loved the beach - it reminded her of one of the holidays she'd been on with her parents, near some city she couldn't remember. Somewhere at the Atlantic Ocean, she remembered that. Watching the Doctor though, he looked like a man who had vowed revenge against the ocean. Looking somewhat whistful, he stared glumly at the waves, his hands buried deep in the pockets of his coat.

He didn't like beaches, the Doctor had said but Time had the feeling it was more than that. And he'd taken her to one nontheless, she thought, feeling pure gratitude as she looked at the man - Time Lord - next to her.

What exactly were Time Lords? Were there any more Time Lords or just him? And why did they have look like humans, making her forget facing an alien instead of a human?

The questions burned on her tongue but she swallowed them, a second thought making her change her mind. He didn't look like he wanted to talk right now; she didn't want to, either. She just wanted answers; preferably without having to talk too much. She didn't know why, but looking at him and simple interacting with him made her feel uneasy, as if she was about to ride a bike and couldn't find the wheel.

Maybe they could just sit on the rocks he had spoken about and not care about any unnecessary forced small talk, just watching the sun dive into the waves.

A couple of minutes later she spotted a constellation of boulders at the seaside. It resembled something that looked like a hovering animal, a cat maybe, shortly before the jump into the waves. Are there alien cats too?, she wondered as she climbed the platform. Do aliens have pets? Which one is the most popular?

One thing for sure, she'd either explode or go crazy with this many questions ghosting around in her head. The Doctor sat next to her and rested his arms on his bent legs. Time let her gaze run over the water to their feet, watched the waves hit aganist the rocks. The sound of it calmed her ridden up nerves, eased down her mind and made her feel somewhat safe. A cool breeze messed up their hair and swirled around her body, making her shiver out of all sudden.

The Doctor coughed shortly - the sound made her jump - and asked quietly: "Are you cold?"

"No, it's okay. Thanks."

He nodded, keeping quiet. His gaze flickered to her face shortly, then fixed on the horizon again. They didn't talk for a while.

The sun started dipping into the waves, the sky coloured pink and orange; a couple of stars already peeking out.

The Doctor closed his eyes and mentally kicked himself. You're scaring her, he scolded himself, she looks at you like a deer in the headlight. Just say something ... anything! What happened to your unstoppable gob?

He watched her closely; her eyes were closed, caging the stars, her freckled face drenched in the golden light of the fading sun. The single earring on her right ear was almost glowing. He'd noticed it before, a crescent shaped golden earring, only one in her right earlobe.

"Nice earring", he mumbled, not knowing what else to say, desperate to talk a little bit, maybe to make them seem like two normal persons, maybe to fool his lonely mind he was just sitting with a friend, talking like friends did.

Time shot him a short glance and her smile looked stiff. "Thank you", she replied and then continued to stare into the sunset.

"Only one?", he asked, desperately to grasp anything that could keep their conversation going - or to start one at all. Time shrugged.

"I lost the other one some time ago."

"Oh."

The awkward silence returned. Maybe it wasn't even awkward, maybe he just _thought_ it was awkward, but what if she was completely comfortable? Did he want to talk with her? Or did he just want to pretend he was sitting with a friend because he had enough of silence?

"I'm sorry.", he suddenly heard himself whisper, startled at the sound of his own voice. Time's head shot up, her eyes scrutinizing him quizically.

He ducked his head and avoided her gaze. "Taking you here was a mistake, I should've-"

"Something happened on a beach before, didn't it?", Time interrupted him, not paying much attention to his apology. "That's why you hate it so much. This isn't about me."

"Do you want to go back?"

"No. I like it here. You don't. What happened?", she insisted, completely missing the point of his question and her voice sounded harsher than she had intended but something made her prod on, stubborn to get an answer out of him.

The Doctor let out a breath he didn't know he had been holding and stared at the water underneath them, wishing it would just swallow him already.

She wouldn't let it be, as much as he wished she would. And secrets always had a way of coming out. But not now, he thought and took a deep breath, already repeating a thousand inner apologies at his lies and she'd never hear them.

"I don't like water very much. I think it's kind of scary, this almost black depth and you don't know what's under the surface, you know? There could be anything."

"It's a bit like space, then."

Her answer took him by surprise and he froze, quickly thinking of a clever answer.

"Yeah", he replied, shrugging and shot her a quick grin. "That's why I keep travelling - to discover all the things that are in it."

Time nodded, seeming content after receiving her answer but still eyed him from the side. "But you wouldn't swim in the water? Like you travel through space?"

The Doctor shook his head. "Nope. Can't breathe down there, so why bother?"

"You can't breathe out in space, either-" She stopped, her eyes widening as she watched him trying to hide a grin. "Or can you?"

He smirked. "Maybe."

"Oh now come on! What kind of answer is that s'posed to be, 'maybe'", she mocked him, rolling her eyes, "so _maybe_ you're blind but you can see with glasses on?"

He grinned and pulled out his specs, putting them on in one swift move. "Exactly.", he replied and Time laughed, scrunching her nose at him.

The Doctor chuckled and took a pebble in his hands, turning it over and over with a thoughtful expression. "I have a different respiratory system. My lungs work better and there are some atmospheres I am allowed to breathe in.", he explained quietly, then paused fo a second. "That means I will easily forget you're human and can't breathe where I can. So if you ever, ah, find you can't breathe, just scream. If you can't scream, just ... punch me in the face. I will notice."

She chuckled. "Alright." and shot him this side-look again, but this time she almost looked amused. "You're very strange", she finally said, still looking at him. The Doctor braced himself for the inevitable. Or course. They never stayed.

"Are you scared?", he asked, so quietly he wasn't even sure if she heard him. The girl shook her head slowly, meeting his eyes again.

"No", she said finally, choosing her words carefully, "Not ... not of you, at least. You're not scary. Just a little, well.", she paused, shrugging, a small smirk plastered on her face, "strange. With weird mannerisms. Also maybe a little lunatic, I dunno."

"It's good to be a lunatic."

"'scuse me?"

The Doctor looked up, realizing he'd said that outloud. "Oh, nothing." He paused for a second.

"So, how old are you no, exactly? The last time we - _I_ \- just guessed. You know, for the formalities, so I don't have to fake your ID for some of the clubs we'll go ..." He cringed at the really desperate joke, trying to make his question seem funny and less creepy, just so their conversation went on. He amazingly succeeded when Time snickered at that.

"See, _now_ you have me worried! IDs? Clubs? We're up in space!"

He just shrugged and grinned, maybe a bit apologetically. Time looked down on her sleeve-covered hands - why hadn't she rolled them up yet? He felt like having to get rid of every article of clothing - then she raised her head and looked him in the eyes again.

"I'm sixteen.", she replied, gritting her teeth, "Well, strictly spoken, still sixteen and almost seventeen."

The Doctor raised his brows and leaned back on his hands, his gaze fixed on her. "Oh yeah? When?"

The sun prickled on her skin, reminding her of warmer, brighter days.

Time squinted her eyes and sucked in breath between her teeth. "7th April."

He chuckled. "So you're living your last couple of months of being sixteen, huh?"

Time snorted. "Yeah, I guess." She paused and looked at him for a long time, opened her mouth as if to say something, then gave up and looked away, fiddling with her sleeves again. And for a moment he thought she would say something, reveal something about herself - but she didn't.

"What is it?", the Doctor asked, smiling encouragingly at her. Time shrugged and mumbled: "Nothing, I just ... I've been wondering, how old do Time Lords get? And how - how old are you, I mean, for all I know you could be like my gramps or something, don't get me wrong, uh ..."

"Oh." The Doctor gritted his teeth when she trailed off, awkwardly shifting in her place. "Well. We do get quite old, ah ... For me it's been centuries. That's quite, er ..."

"Are you really telling me right now you're basically a grandpa considering human age scales?", she quickly threw in, "'cause that was supposed to be a joke, you know."

"Noo ... no. Don't worry - or, not, depends on wether you'd rather like to travel with someone who should sit in front of a fireplace reading books and drinking tea and all that - let's just say I'm in the blossom of my life."

She snorted. "You sound like my Dad."

The Doctor raised and eyebrow and Time quickly looked away, spluttering: "I, I mean, he always says stuff like that too when people ask for his age and he always lies-", she interrupted herself, closing her eyes, letting out a small huff of breath, " _lied_ a little bit."

"How old was he?"

"Fourty-seven."

"Well that's not old-"

Her eyes turned cold and something inside her clenched. "Yeah."

The Doctor realized his mistake and looked down, mentally kicking himself for his stupidity and tactlessness. "Right. Sorry."

They sat in silence for a while.

Eventually, the Doctor spoke up: "I lied, you know." Surprised, she looked up at him, slightly perking up at his words. He smirked sheepishly. "When I said it's been centuries, I'm ... a ninehundred and five, actually."

"Oh."

"Yeah." He tugged his earlobe. "That's ... that's quite middle-aged, not considered very old, I mean, though I'm not the young chap I once was, you know." He barked out a laugh, trying to hide his uneasiness.

Time nodded, her blue eyes still fixed on him.

"And Rose?" Her voice was soft, almost inaudible through the thrashing of the waves.

He broke eye contact and muttered "Not old. Young.", suddenly feeling very old and very gross. He stared into the darkening sky and tried not to think about that this year would be her twentyfirst birthday.

He sniffed and remembered he still wore his specs; quickly, he took them off and stuffed them into his suit.

"Do you have a schedule?", Time asked, pulling him out of his misery. The Doctor forced his eyes back into focus and looked at the girl, confused. She continued, waving her hand and stumbled over the words. "You know, like, um, like a log book where you keep track of where you've already been too, where you want to go and stuff?"

He hesitated. "I have a journal. But that's more ... personal stuff. The TARDIS has a log book but I rarely use it." He tapped his temples, grinning. "Got it all in here."

He didn't tell her about the library. He kept quiet about the maps and thousands of books, all the places that awaited them.

 _Soon_. Soon he'd be ready and able to tell her, when it didn't remind him of the endless nights _they_ had spent sitting in the library anymore.

Maybe someday Time would hear the stories of Rose Tyler, all of them.

But not now.

For now it still hurt too much.

* * *

 **What'cha think? It'd be the best if you left me a review! And, also, if you have any questions or comments about Time I'm more than happy to read and answer them, that would be fantastic! :D**


	7. 07 - How The Story Ends

**Sorry this is so short, school is back and everything's been rather stressful, sooo here's a really short one for you guys.**

 **Happy Doomsday Tuesday! *ugly sobbing***

* * *

 _Chapter 06 - How The Story Ends_

* * *

The Doctor looked at her and her world fell apart.

Her heart shattered when he told her not to touch; slowly, nimbly, her hand fell to her side again, tears burning in her eyes. All she wanted was to touch him one last time, chase the shadows away from his eyes just once more.

And then he said her name and she felt like suffocating. But she swallowed the tears, not wanting him to see her cry, knowing every tear felt like acid on his skin.

She could barely look at him.

It was then that she realized that he had been the best thing that ever happened to her; probably the only right thing she'd ever get. And now it ended, just like that, on a cold beach in the middle of Norway and she couldn't even tell him.

He started talking about her living her daily life and Rose wanted to scream, tell him she didn't want that without him, that she couldn't go on like this and that she felt like loosing herself when she really lost him. But she couldn't. All she could do was ask for him. What about him, now that she'd leave. He'd fall back into darkness, she knew, she just _knew_ , his eyes told her things his brave smile couldn't.

When he told her he'd be on his own, same old life, her heart was torn apart. It broke for the man she loved and would always love, whom she now left shattered and lonely.

Cold, blind desperation started clawing at her heart with an icy crip, she had to tell him, she just had to, be damned if it would be the last thing she'd ever tell him.

"I", she started and her voice broke, it felt like her whole body was rebelling against her, not wanting to get out the words she hoped to fix him with. _It's the last thing I can give him_. Rose closed her eyes and took a deep, shaking breath, trying to calm down, and then, _finally_ , she managed to get out the words.

"I love you.", she told him and she watched him die a little as something seemed to crack inside of him.

Their eyes met and Rose panicked when he said two words, two words that were so close to the three she wanted, no, _needed_ to hear, but something made him back away once again.

 _Please_ , she wanted to say, _This can't be how it ends, say it, just say it. Just tell me. I already know but I just need to hear it. Give me this, one more time, give me life. Please._

The Doctor opened his mouth.

"Rose Tyler -"

Everything slowed down and went too fast at the same time.

She couldn't catch him.

She didn't hear it.

The Doctor was gone.

And Rose Tyler stood on the beach of Bad Wolf Bay, fate laughing at her with a cruel sound of silence following her name, mocking her.

Time ran out in front of her eyes when she finally broke down into the waiting arms of her mother, but she was craving for other arms to hold her, other fingers to gently stroke her back, and another voice to say her name.

There was nothing else she could do, so she waited. She waited like the first time he'd left her, her heart already defeated, standing on the sand and soon in waves but she barely felt the cold water soaking through her shoes.

She did as she'd been told, to wait. Five hours and a half.

He didn't come back.

* * *

 **Don't mind me, I'll just be over here and ask myself _why on earth I wrote this bloody chapter_ again, ahahaha ...**

 **Oh, by the way, I made up my mind about the weekly update and decided for a 2-weeks-gap between the update - so every second Doomsday Tuesday there will be a new chapter! :D**

 **It'd be simply brilliant to receive some feedback! :D**


	8. 08 - Parallel Lines

**Oh my God, I can't believe it's been so long since the last update, I'm so sorry! I had my own little Doomsday and lost everything I had written ahead - so this is practically a re-write of the re-write ... Fun story though, the day that happened ... was a Tuesday (yes fate thank you).**

 **I must admit that I'm not really sure about this chapter, there was a lot I wanted to get in there and also had quite an expectation regarding emotional depth - maybe they were too high, I don't know, I'll leave it to you to decide.**

 **There may also occur some questions in this chapter and it could be I explained things poorly or some of it is unclear - if you have a question, just ask me, my PM box is always open! :D**

 **Right then, onto chapter 8 of The Universe In Her Eyes, hope you like it! :D**

* * *

 _Chapter 08 - Parallel Lines_

* * *

Hours passed and seemed to stand still in front of Time's eyes. She couldn't possibly tell how time had gone by since the moment she'd set a foot on the TARDIS after the beach and now. They'd hung about the console room for a while, until the Doctor had asked her to have tea with him in the kitchen - he had a kitchen table, a proper one, made of light wood and it looked so incredibly alien because it was one of the most human things Time could imagine - but she'd kindly declined, explaining she felt really knackered and would catch some sleep.

The Doctor had understood though, only guessing about her physical state; the girl seemed pretty thin and was shaking all over, but not from cold.

Now that Time was safe and didn't need to be on alarm all the time anymore, she felt the exhaustion and heaviness in her whole body, pulling her down, making her sight blurry and her steps wonky.

So all she could do for a while was lay in bed, snuggled under the blankets, and try to think of nothing.

Try not to see.

Try not to think of her parents whom she missed with an aching pain in her chest.

Oh, what she would give for her parents to meet him. The man from her dreams with his precious secret box and the funny blue light.

Try _not_ to think of the Doctor and the visions.

So she tried to think of anything else. She remembered Rose, then. Rose, who had been so kind to say goodbye and told her not to worry. Rose, the woman Time knew nothing about except that she was gone and had left the Doctor with an open wound he tried to stitch together but failed so miserably.

She could see it in his eyes, how much it hurt him, how he tried to ignore the pain and go on. And Time lay in the darkness, thinking of his tired, anchient eyes as she understood.

* * *

The Doctor woke up from the silence and started up.

Sighing, he scrubbed a hand down his face, noticing the stubble - of course, he'd been ignoring daily tasks like shaving for days now - and realised he'd falled asleep at the kitchen table.

He groaned and got up, the edge of the table pressing into his palms. Apparently his decision to completely give up sleep hadn't been the most brilliant idea he'd ever had. He stood there for a while, staring at his mug with the now cold tea on the table, in complete stillness.

It was one of the most human, simplest things to have, a kitchen table.

Rose had insisted on having one, not willing to give up certain customs.

Here there had been quiet suppers, sleep-drunken breakfasts, fights and talks, laughter and promises. They'd agreed that the best thing after a long day would always be tea, that they'd make his beloved banana pancakes at least every two weeks for breakfast and that they'd never eat alone.

He always felt human at this table, somehow. It made him be able to pretend that he wasn't that different from her, that they were actually the same, both on the same physical page. And then there would always be his two hearts, beating faster and louder everytime her hands touched him, reaching across the table, and it was enough to remind him of his origins.

The Doctor stood completely motionless, only listening to his heartbeat, looking at the table. His gaze darknening when he realised it would never sound the same again.

He exhaled through his nose and pushed himself off of the table and headed for the door, knowing he'd loose his mind if he did this any longer.

 _Out_ , he thought, _I just need to get_ _ **out**_ _._

* * *

It was easier finding the console room now, after a while. Time carefully peeked down, not spotting the Doctor and slowly made her way down the stairs, her hand loosely trailing across the banister.

She flitted her eyes across the room, over the glowing, humming coral and the blinking console and felt like she was part of a science-fiction film. The thought brought a bright smile to her lips, a bit uneasy at first, but then she broke into a wild grin and skipped around the console, not quite believing she was actually here.

Even though she'd seen the TARDIS in some of her visions before, she'd never actually seen its interiors. _Her_ , she quickly corrected herself, smiling up at the ceiling. The ship hummed back at her, like a bird in her mind, leaving her senses warm and tingling.

Her gaze fell on the surface of the console and she felt the immense need to learn everything about every switch and button, setting her mind on asking the Doctor to explain some of the basics to her someday.

And then she spotted a book lying on top of a keyboard in front of a screen. The girl froze when she realised what she was really looking at; but it was already too late when she had understood.

There, on the console, laid the Doctor's journal, protected by a brown leather binding.

Before she could pull her gaze away, her eyes had already read the first and last lines on the white blank page.

' _Yesterday I died.'_

Time gasped and instinctively took a step back, her hands gripping the edge of the console. She closed her eyes for a second and breathed out, guilt and hot embarassment washing over her as the words burned into her mind. Y _esterday I died._ She could only guess what he was talking about. Her heart was aching with sympathy because she understood, she understood so well. How much he'd lost, how vital it was for him to force himself to go on.

Time stumbled backwards, away from the console, the journal, without even realising she took step after step -

"Woah there, careful!"

She nearly jumped when she collided with the Doctor and felt his arms steady her shoulders; quickly, Time took a step away from him and cleared her throat, trying desperately to seem casual.

"Sorry, I didn't hear you."

He smirked down at her, the smile not quite reaching his eyes. Then he looked up and glanced around. "What have you been up to down here?"

"Oh, nothing", she stuttered quickly and retreated to the console, pulling her long sleeves down further.

The Doctor followed the motion with his eyes and already opened his mouth to ask her about the sleeve-pulling when his gaze fell on his journal and he stopped midways.

His lips sealed shut and slowly, he strode over to the console and brushed his hand across the pages, exhaling slowly.

"How much did you read?", he asked quietly and saw her wince ever so slightly.

"N-nothing.", she lied and avoided his gaze.

"Time.", the Doctor warned, his voice dangerously quiet and Time couldn't bear looking at him. Instead, she fixed her gaze on the opened journal, her lips aready forming an apology.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"

"How much, Time?"

Time stopped for a second when he ground the words out, almost barking them as his hands gripped the journal and slammed it shut.

"Just ... just the last entry. I really didn't want to read it, just sort of ... happened." Her voice grew smaller and smaller until it eventually died away the longer she watched his expression, not able to read it.

He was torn between anger, frustration, defeat. So he just stood there, his eyes on the journal but not really looking at it.

After a long time, he just sighed. A long, deep breath that came from the pit of his lungs, slowly, carefully released and he ran a hand through his hair, leaning on the console with the other.

Then, he looked up and spoke, so quietly he barely even heard himself, his voice rasp. His clouded eyes were staring into the distance.

"I promised her forever. We got two years."

Then he straightened up, stared at the screen next to him and muttered: "I have to check on something. Won't be long."

The TARDIS touched the ground and without loosing another word, the Doctor grabbed his coat and rushed through the door.

Time just stood there, staring after him, completely dumbfounded. She couldn't even form a proper thought. Slowly, she turned around and sat down on the jump seat, resting her head on her hands. And the only thing she could think of was how terribly, terribly sorry she felt for him.

The loud creak and the 'Thud!' of a door being wrenched open made her yelp and jump up from the seat, but she relaxed a little when the Doctor reappeared. Quickly, she forced her body back to a normal pose and nervously pulled on her sleeves, biting her lips.

"Right then!", the Doctor proclaimed and took two stairs with each step, walked over to the console and pushed down a lever. "Fancy seeing some new stars?", he asked, grinning.

Time blinked, taken aback by his sudden change of mood and demeanour that had changed from one minute to another. Just now he'd basically legged it out of the TARDIS, his whole body screaming 'repressed emotions', and now he was back to his old grinning, excited star-sighting self again. It just didn't fit together. Still, Time forced a smile on her lips and took a few hesitant steps back to sit down on the seat again.

"Oh, um, new as is new new or just new in general?", she asked carefully, gnawing on her already chapped lips.

"Well", he drawled, raising his eyebrows. "We could go and watch the creation of the Khaleesi Cascade in the Blue System, or have a quick look at the Storms Of Desperation in the Andromeda Nebula, or maybe climb the Upisde Down Hills - you'd like that, everything's upside down, it's more falling than climbing, really, but, you know. Safe. I could take you to the fourth moon of the Lost Planes, beautiful ice landscapes ..."He followed her every movement out of the corner of his eyes when Time got up and slowly made her way towards him to lean her back against the console, watching him intently. "... _or_ we could just stay in the Earth's solar system for a start, what'cha reckon?"

When he threw a look back at the girl, her expression had darkened as she stood there with crossed arms, still watching him in silence for a long time.

Eventually, she asked in a low voice: "How you do this?"

She could practically _feel_ him deciding to ignore her and maintain his cheery facade. "What do you mean?"

Time's eyes bore into his back.

"Act like everything's fine when it's not.", she replied shortly.

His expression darkened, his posture stiffened and he quickly stopped himself when he realised his other hand kept drumming on the console. He sighed. "I keep telling you, I'm alright.", he almost growled, his shoulders tensing.

Time huffed and pushed herself off of the console, striding over to him, uncrossing her arms.

"Alright isn't an emotion, Doctor. It's just something we say to throw people off. Say you're alright when you're dead inside."

His lips were a thin, cruel line when he clenched his fingers around the edge of the console, so tightly his knuckles turned white while he said nothing. But that was enough of a reaction for Time to know she had been right. She opened her mouth, changed her mind and felt a sting of remorse. She hadn't meant to be so harsh to him, just because she couldn't understand.

"I'm sor-"

Her apology was instantly cut off when a bolt of pain flashed through her head and Time doubled over, clutching her head, her whole body trembling, panicking because she knew exactly what this meant.

One by one, all of Time's surroundings faded away, bursted like bubbles, one light of the console room after another, leaving only darkness.

The inside of the TARDIS disappeared and Time felt herself loose the ground beneath her feet before she took a stumbling step back and stepped on solid ground.

With a gasp, she opened her eyes again. It was a feeling not new to her, opening her eyes and then opening them again. But this was a new situation, a new vision. Time spun around to take in all of her surroundings and found herself in a buzzing, busy hall. Crowds of people, all primarily dressed in dresses or suits, quiet conversations rising to a constant hum of noises.

At her left side was a stage and a banner at each side. Time squinted her eyes to read it and swore her heart stopped for a second. _17th Science Congress, 2003, New York._

' _The Science Fair.'_

She stumbled, trembling and dizzy, her head was spinning but not a sound left her mouth except a breathy gasp as reoccurring and caged emotions tightened her chest. Her parents. 2003. The year she lost them. The night that took them away from her. But that should mean-

"-couldn't cancel school, you know?"

Everything stopped.

Time stood still.

And Time herself turned around, slowly, the only sound she heard was the voice, that voice she would give everything to hear just one last time, to tell her one last time she loved her.

There, surrounded by countless and countless of people, was her mother.

Time wanted to cry, to scream, to run towards her but all she could do was taste the word "Mum" without a sound coming over her lips, and slowly stagger towards her.

Katie Winters stood there, dressed in the black dress Time had picked for her a couple of weeks ago, a champagne flute in her hands, glittering and smiling and familiar. So very _real_ it pierced Time's heart.

And then Time had reached her, hands already streched out, when she heard another voice rip her out of her trance: "Bet she'd have loved this!", the Doctor said and smiled at her mother.

 _What?_

Out of all sudden, the room came back to life again. Her focus widened.

In front of her stood her mum, facing the _Doctor_ _and_ _Rose_ who gently held on to his arm as she spoke.

"Don't mind him, he's a big old nerd."

Mrs Winters laughed. "Aren't we all?" and despite Time's shock, bewilderment and desperation a tiny, incredulous chuckle stole itself off her lips at her mum's words as she looked at her and felt like the entire world circled around her mother.

"So, what about you, do you have any children?"

Reluctantly Time turned her head, just so much so she could see Rose freeze imperceptibly for a second, her eyes flickering up to the Doctor who laughed and replied smoothly, snaking his hand around Rose's waist: "Oh, no, we don't. Unfortunately."

Quickly, Rose put her faltered smile back on and nodded.

Time's mum crooned. "Aw, shame. It's not easy though, juggling that all. Tell you what, she was pretty annoyed we had to leave her alone. Gonna grow up to be as mad as her dad, this one."

"I can imagine.", Rose smiled and exchanged a quick look with the Doctor who grinned down at her.

Time's mum smiled warmly and Time felt like drowning.

Then, everything crashed down and she felt her mind being pulled back; and before she could even think of trying to stop it, not wanting to let the vision go, she stumbled back and found support on the console in her back. Her mind was blank as she stood there, shaking and breathing rapidly, uneasily gasping for air. The Doctor's voice came to her like she was under water, dull and echoing and then everything went normal again.

"Time? Time, can you hear me?"

She barely listened.

And suddenly everything made sense. She froze in shock as everything came together. The Doctor had known her parents - more than that, he was there, he had been there the day before the crash. The plane crash that had killed hundreds of people, a catastrophe that had shaken whole countries. He must have known about it. He just _had_ to. He knew it and he did nothing.

As if she was in trance, Time spoke, barely hearing herself, staring into empty space.

"This is so wrong."

The Doctor took a step closer to her but Time didn't register it. Instead, she raised her head and breathed numbly: "None of this should have happened."

"Time, what do you mean?", the Doctor asked in a low voice, carefully. Time closed her eyes and shook her head, voice faltering. "... I ... I - I shouldn't even be here."

He reached out a hand, hesitating. "Time. Time, look at me. What did you see? It was a vision, wasn't it?"

Time raised her gaze and looked at him, but didn't really see him. "How can you be here when everything is so wrong?", she whispered, her eyes wide. The Doctor furrowed his brows and opened his mouth to say something, but suddenly she backened away from him, away from the console, her deep blue eyes full of horror, still moving like she was in some kind of trance.

"Time.", he repeated, gently, and reached out a hand, going to touch her shoulder but she yelped and stumbled back.

"Don't touch me!"

Suddenly, her voice regained its strength and newfound anger fueled by desperation and gried made her blood boil. "Get away from me!"

"What?"

"It was you! It was you all along!" Time's heart was racing, slamming painfully against her ribs and her hands fisted in her hair, her feet carrying her yet back and forth between the Time Lord and the door. "It's your fault.", she wheezed, numbness replacing the anger.

"What do you mean?", the Doctor asked again, confused, exasperated even. "What did you see? Just - just tell me, it'll be fine-"

"No. No, no, no, no, ever-everything.", the girl whispered, her hands still in her hair and then she raised her head and looked at the Doctor, blue eyes burning, her voice numb as she counted off unconnected words like numbers. "Dreams, Goodbye, Voices, Mum, Dad, Winter, Doctors, Pain, it all circles around you."

"What?", he breathed, again and stopped in front of her, both hands reached out.

Time felt like she was about to drown. "It's your fault.", she whispered again and again, "Your fault. Your fault ... you. You ..."

And then everything formed a line in front of her eyes, the final pieces together and she turned around to the door and stormed out of the TARDIS, and it was childish, so childish of her to think she could run away from it.

* * *

Tears stung in her eyes and she didn't even know where she was running. She just wanted to get away. She just wanted to get away from this man. As far as possible.

The man who had taken her family away from her.

Time stumbled through the darkness, not knowing where or when she was. But it didn't matter, in the end. None of this mattered. As long as she never had to see him again.

After a while, she stopped, her lungs burning. So she slowly sank down to her knees and buried her head in her hands, sobs raking through her body.

The Doctor had been there and he knew about the coming crash. And he'd done nothing. He'd just stood and watched. Stood idly to watch lives taken, families be torn apart and her parents ripped away from her.

And everything - _every single goddamn thing_ \- that had forced Time to where she was now had been caused by her parent's death. Everything - the orphanage, the doctors, the scars, everything. And it was his fault. Everything had gone wrong in her life had been the Doctor's doing. Or rather, what he _hadn't_ been doing.

For a while, she sat there and sobbed quietly, crying herself out. When her weeping died down and subsided to breathy huffs, she felt a little relieved. Her body had needed this.

Slowly, she crawled to the line where she saw the concrete ended and stared down into glistening, black water.

' _It's kind of scary, this almost black depth and you don't know what's under the surface, you know? There could be anything.'_

Time sighed and wrapped her arms around her angled knees, watching the darkness reflect shadows and lights.

 _It's a bit like space, then._

Her head fell on her knees.

Maybe that had been it. The reason why she kept seeing him, why the Doctor had been the one constant in her vision, never quite leaving her alone. Maybe everything had led up to this; to the realisation it had been him all along. That he was a thief and had stolen her life.

* * *

The Doctor let out a deep breath he didn't realised he'd been holding as he leaned against the bannister, watching the door. All the anger he'd felt towards her for earlier had faded away, only to be replaced by confusion and worry.

He just didn't _understand_ and that was what bugged him the most. Leaving aside where her visions even _came_ from, what had she seen? What was his fault?

 _Great, another lifeform who blames you for something. They should get in a queue. Starting with you._ , he thought bitterly and pushed himself off of the bannister and buried his hands in the pockets of his coat.

For a few seconds, he just stood there, torn. Then, he sighed and stalked down to the door, muttering under his breath: "Screw it."

The door klicked shut.

* * *

Nobody payed attention to the girl that stood in the shadows, guarded by darkness.

Time saw. And she was watching.

A couple made its way through the dark street. The blonde woman had her arm linked with the tall man and together they strolled through the night, their voices carried towards her with the wind. Time didn't need to guess twice who it was.

"'twas lovely.", Rose smiled and the Doctor smirked down at her.

"Hear hear", he replied teasingly, his smile almost twinkling in the darkness. "says the woman who didn't want to leave the bed just a few hours ago."

Rose giggled softly and swatted playfully at his arm. "Come on, it wasn't that bad. Just didn't fancy being left alone in a crowd while you nerd out with everyone."

"Oh, you're just deceiving. You were as science-y as I was tonight!" He sniffed and looked straight ahead, "very alluring."

Rose burst out into laughter. The Doctor watched her happily, a broad grin on his face. "What's so funny about that?", he asked, mockingly hurt. "I'm just a bloke, you know."

"Shut up", Rose replied, still laughing, paused, then stopped and blurted: "You could've lend me your specs!"

The Doctor groaned, not quite able to fight off the smile tugging at his lips. "Ohh noo!" Rose grinned at him, her tongue peeking out between her teeth. The Doctor slid his arm out of hers and pointed a finger at her: "Now _that_ is just _cruel_. What do you wanna do, woman, kill me?"

She winked at him and the Doctor hummed, taking her hand this time, linked their fingers and buried them in the pocket of his coat as they resumed walking.

Shadows followed them.

Rose leaned into him and murmured: "It was fun though." He hummed in agreement and dropped a kiss into her hair as the TARDIS came in sight at the end of the street.

Rose let go of his hand and fumbled with the key around her neck. "They were very nice. You know, Time's parents."

The Doctor froze visibly, quickly dropping his gaze to the ground.

"They will die."

Rose stopped in her tracks, hand halfways reaching for the doorknob. She turned around. "What?", she breathed, mortified.

In the shadows, Time froze and almost stopped breathing.

The Doctor's gaze flickered up to her and gumly, he repeated: "They will die. Tomorrow night. They ... they will get on a plane back to London, back to their daughter. There will be malfunction and the plane will crash over the Atlantic Ocean. Help comes to late. By the time they arrived every passenger was already dead."

Rose had started taking slow steps back to him and stopped in front of the Doctor.

"You knew about this?", she questioned, her voice shaking slightly.

He looked up at her, miserably.

"You knew these people would die and - wait. When we saw Time, the, the first time we saw her, you said you were sorry." She gasped and looked up at him again, meeting his gaze. The Doctor nodded, swallowing before he explained in a low voice: "When I scanned Time's eyes I ... I saw her timeline slowly bend and ... meet mine."

He closed his eyes and Rose gasped, staring at him with wide eyes. The Doctor exhaled slowly and continued, choosing his words carefully: "I knew that ... that her parents would die when I looked at the point the line bent. Their death. It leads to me."

"So it's fixed? We can't do anything?", Rose said gently, not quite questioning. Wordlessly, the Doctor nodded. After a moment of silence, Rose spoke up: "But I remember ... you once told me about that family you saved before the Titanic. You could save them."

The Doctor met Rose's hopeful face with a pained expression. "Rose, this is different. Don't you see, her parents _have_ to die so she meets me again. I didn't ask for it. I don't want them to die because I can only imagine what this will do to her. But I can't ... I can't save them. I just can't."

Then, Time was pulled back, away from the street and the starless night, back to the projection she sat on over the water. She took a couple seconds to recollect herself, still trembling with the aftereffects of the vision.

Her breathing went ragged and slowly, the clouds in her mind cleared away, the buzzing in her head faded.

And then she realised how stupid and rash she had been. He had known about her parents - but he hadn't ignored it, he _couldn't_ save them. Rose had asked if it was fixed. What did that mean? Was it bound to happen? Why couldn't he change it? Why did she _have_ to meet him? Why _her_?

It all gathered up, and suddenly Time jumped up, letting out a frustrated cry.

" _What am I supposed to do?_ ", she yelled at the dark, uninterested nightsky. Of course, nobody answered. No star told her that she should just wait, that she should follow her heart and all that rubbish, the sky just kept silent. Sighing, Time dropped to the ground again and pulled down her sleeves, shivering in the breeze. This was so stupid. She'd actually expected an answer. As if something, some kind of invisible force, could tell her what to do.

You could cry and scream and say it's unfair and the Universe wouldn't care. Because the Universe wasn't meant to be fair, it was just meant to _function_. And not implode, maybe.

Time jumped when an all-too familiar voice pierced through the silence and for a moment she asked herself if she was in another vision but discarded that thought when someone sat down next to her.

"Didn't expect to scare you off so fast. It's only been a day.", the Doctor commented, lightly and to Time's pleased surprise he didn't seem angry. Time let out a careful snort but didn't know what to say so she said nothing.

The Doctor let out an almost unaudible sigh beside her, leaning back on his hands.

"Why did you come with me?", he suddenly asked into the silence.

She smiled lightly, her eyes scrutinizing him sadly. "Well, I couldn't say no, couldn't I?"

A small laugh erupted from his mouth and he shook his head, the corners of his ancient eyes wrinkling. "No. Really not."

She looked up at him. "I'm sorry."

The Time Lord looked at her and smiled. Time knew he wasn't angry but also sensed he wanted her to go on. "I didn't ... I didn't mean what I said earlier, I just ... kind of lose it every time I have a vision, didn't quite get used to it yet. And I'm not really used to this, this whole, um, physical interaction." She let out a nervous laugh and started fiddling with her sleeves. "Interaction, um, in general. Guess you ... figured that out. By now."

He snorted goodwillingly. "Yeah, sort of. It's okay." Then, he added: "Me too. A little. It's all in the practise, don't worry. You'll get used to it."

She gave him a tight smile and avoided his gaze when she asked quietly: "So we're good?"

He rubbed his hands, jumped up and kindly waited for her to get up herself, not making the same mistake twice. "Better than ever, Miss Winters! After you."

Together they made their way through the darkness. Even though the questions were itching to be asked, the Doctor bit his tongue and decided to let things settle down first.

His hands already raised for the doorknob, he stopped and turned around, furrowing his brow. "Hang on." Time looked up at him, confused.

The Doctor grinned at her. "What do you think of chips?"

* * *

 **What'cha think? :D A review would make my day! *-***


	9. 08 - The Bits In-Between

**A/N: Heesh, long time no see! I'm sorry it's been so awfully long since the last update, life got really busy and wasn't really helping :'D**

 **Here's the ninth chapter, a short transition before we dive right into their first real aventure in Chapter 10!**

 **Shoutout to _3greeneyes3_ , who is always up for my 1 am rants and helps me getting through this mess. Oh, and before I forget, she has an amazing story on here, too, it's called 'Teammates' and absolutely brilliant! :D The story also features my OC Time, so go go go and check it out! ;^)**

 **Alright, I'll stop my babbling now, let's get on to the chapter!**

 **Enjoy! :D**

* * *

 _Please note: Any of these scientific fields, professions and researches are completely made up and entirely incorrect. Credits for the L-Space to Sir Terry Pratchett, RIP. Thanks, Terry._

* * *

 **Chapter 9 - The Bits In-Between  
**

Day rose and coated the earth in a gleam of light, a golden reminder of a new beginning.  
Beginnings.  
The Doctor sat in the doorway of the TARDIS and let thoughts of endings and beginnings float through his mind. How with every nightfall, every spin the earth was moving closer to another ending, how it felt to him the day ended too soon every time.

He thought of time and the girl with stars in her eyes and scars on her hands, not knowing where either of those came from.

He itched to ask, or even better, _find out_ but at the same time he knew he had to wait.  
Wait; how long?

Five and a half hours, he'd once told Rose, he thought, grimly staring into the sky underneath and above him. That had been the first time he'd left her and the millionth time he'd been a proper idiot and most definitely not the first time he'd hurt her.

It was something that made his mind set on protecting Time.

He'd done the worst of all, so why shouldn't he try to make things right for once?  
He would protect her, he'd vowed the previous night when she'd looked up at him and apologised, and she had looked so young and vulnerable. Lost. Broken. And he made a vow that from this moment on, nothing would ever hurt her again, not as long as he could stop it. She had already been through too much and he didn't even know the whole story.  
But maybe this could be a new beginning, a better chapter, for both of them.  
Like the earth spinning around the sun, they would find their way through this horrible, stupid mess that was living.

* * *

One night to run away, one night to come back. One night to figure themselves out, one night to listen to his stories.

She couldn't help thinking _'We've only just met'._

And yet, as crazy as it sounded, she trusted him. There was something about his voice, Time thought. He had this kind of voice to tell stories, _great_ stories, and the kind of voice that said _'Don't worry, I will take care of this.'._

He'd taken her to a tiny chippy squeezed into a corner between a second hand shop and a bookshop, one Time had never been in before. It was the kind of shop you overlooked, didn't pay attention to in between all the colours and sounds and rushing people.  
But as soon as Time had allowed to slow her mind down and swallowed her still lingering discomfort, she'd seen it.

The Doctor had made a quiet entrance with a flourish of his coat and Time had wondered how many times the waiter, who greeted the Time Lord like an old mate, had seen him walk through that door.

They had squeezed into a corner and as soon as Time had seen the outside of the street dancing across the darkness of the window glass she had felt invisible.  
The feeling of safety came with the sense of not being seen; peace had settled over her.  
The Doctor had started talking, softly. He'd told her about his and Rose's first date - "Weeell, second, really, the first one was a bit ... hot, quite literally" - and that chips were a good start to everything.

The chips had been hot and greasy, but she could have been shoving anything inside her mouth for all she could care, as long as it was food.

She'd shrugged his sheepish look and mumbled apology about not tending to her physical health first off.

She couldn't possibly blame him.

He looked like he couldn't even take care of himself properly - that man was a stick in a striped suit - so how could she expect him to take care of someone else?

She'd been comfortable to just sit and eat, listening to his stories. He had told her all sorts of things, how he once had woken up bald, how he grew to dislike cats after an encounter with cat nuns ("Cat nuns?" - "You'll get used to it.") and about the time he landed in London instead of New York.

After a while it had been easier to smile, easier to believe that they were just two people sitting in a chippy at night, having a normal conversation.

He had seemed so very _Alright_ it was convincing - except for the whistful look in his eyes and the way his voice broke a little every time he mentioned Rose.

Time had found a new favourite sound that night: the way the Doctor said Rose's name. He spoke it so softly, with so much care as if it was something fragile to be handled with care, something that would break if he wasn't careful. It sounded like it mattered.

She had wondered how one could make a thing sound like that, like it was important, and found herself looking out for that sound in other words.

She found no other word that he made sound just like this.

* * *

 _The Doctor had paid - the source of that money remained a mystery to her - and led Time back out into the night, the crisp air tingling on their skin._

 _"Well then, where to now, Time Winters?", he asked, bouncing on his feet._

He always does that, _Time noticed,_ Call me by my full name. Is that a thing he does? _  
"Dunno", she answered and spun around fully to take in all of their surroundings. "Back to the TARDIS?", she suggested somewhat distracted but discared that thought quickly when her eyes catched something in a shop window._

 _"Hang on - which year is this?", she called, already stalking towards the window, the Doctor's surprised gaze following her._

 _"Um ..." He frowned and quickly checked before he started to follow the girl. "2014 ... why?"  
He stopped and looked over her shoulder. The window belonged to a small electronic shop, and on the small display lay various camerad and mobiles._

 _"What are those?" Time pointed at the flat screened phones, "Small tellies?"_

 _The Doctor snorted but quickly remembered the last time the girl had seen something technical must have been some times ago and cleared his throat._

 _"That, Miss Winters, is the newest version of the Samsung Galaxy; a phone brand, that is -_

 _well, mostly. They also produce things like microwaves, fridges, also rather good telev-"_

 _"These are phones?", Time interrupted his rambling, excitedly leaning closer to look at the phones. "But they're ... they're so ..._ flat _! And where are the buttons and numbers, where's the rest of it?"_

 _The Doctor chuckled. "They're built like that. These phones nowadays - relatively spoken, of course, always remember time is relative - have a touchscreen. Means, all the numbers are on the display and you can control the phone by pressing your fingers on the screen."_

" _Well that sounds ... futuristic. Do they have holograms, too?"_

" _No, not really. No publicly available ones, at least."_

" _What about flying cars?"_

 _His eyebrows shot up. "Flying cars?"_

 _Time grinned and turned around towards the shop window again, hiding her hands in the pockets of her jacket. "Yeah." A soft, distant look graced her face as she explained. "Dad and me, we had this bet. Whether there'd be flying cars by 2015 - you know, all Back to the future and stuff ..."_

 _She turned around. "Are there?"_

" _No. No flying cars, sorry."_

 _Still smiling, Time lowered her head. "You win.", she whispered to herself._

 _The Doctor looked at he girl and didn't quite know what to do, so he just stood next to her and said nothing. They stood in silence for a couple of minutes, until the Doctor suddenly started and looked at her with narrow eyes._

" _Wait - Winters. Winters, why does that ring a bell?" The Doctor furrowed his brows and stared at the girl's confused face. "Because it's my name ...?", she suggested, slowly doubting the alien was such a brilliant genius after all._

" _Matthew!", the Doctor exclaimed, almost yelled at her, grinning wildly as he lashed out a hand._

" _What?" Time stared at him, dumbfounded. Her heart aching at the mention of the name._

" _Winters - Matthew Winters. Brilliant man! First scientist to study the extent of alternate timelines, supporter of the L-Space theory, professor of astronomical phenomenons, this man's a genius!" His voice grew softer and he fondly smiled down at the girl in front of him. "And he's your dad. Your brilliant dad." He grinned happily, madly even and gave a small whoop of joy. "A genius, oh, this is brilliant."_

 _Time didn't know what to say. The Doctor's unabashed praise on her father made her heart swell in her chest with love and filled her with inherited pride._

 _She wanted to thank him but the words got stuck in her throat, as did the tears that started to well up in her eyes, so she swallowed them and pressed her burning lips together._

 _The Doctor pushed his hands into the pockets of his coat and went on, oblivious to her internal flood of emotions._

" _An extraordinary mind. Deavoured all of his books, read his study on the accuracy of time twice, it was thrilling! And accurate, mind you! Well" he drawled "at least more accurate than most theories and studies."_

 _All words were stuck on Time's tongue and her eyes were watering, no matter how much she fought it._

He never finished it _, was all she could think._ He worked on so many things and didn't finish them. And he's not here. He's not where he should be.

 _It occured to her then, that she'd never really seen it. She'd never seen her father as the brilliant scientist who dedicated his life to knowledge. Because he was her dad. Always her dad. And that was enough._

 _She didn't expect the Doctor to understand. Because no one could understand the feeling of waking up one day, and not being anyone's daughter anymore._

 _There was one thing that stopped her from tearing up right then there. A small, consistent voice in the back of her head that reminded her of the one time she'd given in and let everything out. In the end, it had given her scars. Internal and external ones._

 _So she said nothing, as always._

 _She didn't cry, not this time._

 _The Doctor stood next to her, hands buried deep in his pocket, and gazed down at her with a warm, fond expression._

" _So. Do you want one?", he asked into the silence and startled the girl a bit._

" _Want what?" Time's voice was rasp from uncried tears and quickly she cleared her throat._

" _A phone."_

 _He bounced lightly on the balls of his feet, voice bright._

 _Still too caught up in her thoughts and his previous monologue Time furrowed her brows, not quite getting a grasp on his idea. "What? Why?"_

 _The Doctor smirked, shrugging. "'cause, you know, now that you're part of the team, I have to take care of you. And what do I do if you get lost? Have to reach you. So we're getting you a phone."_

 _Time snorted. "And what should I do with that? I'm not sure if I'll have the best reception on board of the TARDIS-"_

" _There will be serious tinkering on my part involved."_

" _But I have no one to call!", Time cried and didn't know why she made such a fuss, feeling childish._

 _The Doctor didn't seem fazed and gazed down at her, his eyes soft._

" _Well, you can always call me.", he suggested gently._

 _A beat._

 _Then he perked up again and enthusiastically gestured for her to follow him to the entrance of the shop._

" _C'mon! I'll buy you a phone. Consider it ... a late birthday present. Or an early one, depends on which birthday you look."_

 _He didn't miss Time's sharp intake of breath, nor the tinest of steps she did backwards. For the fraction of a second, her mind was completely blank at his words. A birthday present. For her. A phone. Something her parents had been against, saying thirteen was too early for a phone._ I have to take care of you.

 _It was all she could do, all she felt capable of, so she withdrew again, closed up and went into defense mode._

" _Oh God, you're bonkers.", she deadpanned, feigning sarcasm._

 _It was an instict she'd received, protection. Of what, she wasn't sure. He mistook it for banter._

" _At your service." He took a little bow and winked at her. Time felt the idea of a chuckle rise in her throat and she pulled at her sleeves. "You don't have to do this. I don't want you to feel obligated to-"_

" _What, to take care of you?" He raised a brow, making his face look angular and crooked but his voice was soft. "I do." A slow grin blossomed on his lips._

" _Honestly, these phones are fantastic, come on in! The fellow behind the counter's probably taking us for completely bananas 'cause we've been lurking around the entrance all the time!", he exlaimed and opened the door._

* * *

Time's eyes swam back into focus and fell on the object next to her on the dirty-yellow material of the jump seat. A small, almost bitter smirk crept on her lips and she moved her hand to pick it up slowly, carefully. The flat black mobile phone's screen glittered in the blue glow of the coral.

Out of all the things on board of the TARDIS, this phone felt the most alien to her.

It looked weird and wrong in her scarred palms, felt too heavy for her hold. Her scarred thumb moved to press the ON button in the lower middle of the phone's margin. Immediately the screen lit up and Time actually had to squint, her first instict was to turn down the brightness but she had not clue where the right command was. Slowly she swiped across the surface - th Doctor had told her that much - and once again marvelled at the reception sign.

The Doctor had modified it for her in the blink of an eye, all it took was holding the humming sonic screwdriver in its direction, telling her she now could reach anyone anywhere anytime. She really wondered how it worked but had bitten her tongue, filing it under the things she'd ask him some time. One thing she did ask him for, though.

"What's your number?", she'd said and carefully typed in the numbers and the Doctor had laughed at her, saying she didn't have to be so careful. "It's not going to explode in your hands!" She'd scrunched her nose at the Time Lord, earning another chuckle and a scrunched nose from his side. Sometimes he really wasn't acting his age, she'd muttered and, of course, he'd heard it. "Time Lord physiology", he'd reminded her sing-songing, hands in his pocket, sonic screwdriver between his teeth while he worked at the console. He'd left earlier.

And now Time sat alone, her legs dangling over the edge of the jump seat, barely even close to the ground. She was quite literally _floating_ through space and smiled at that idea.

Time closed her eyes and breathed in and out.

The soft hum of the TARDIS was such a calming sound it was hard for her thoughts to race and keep up their pace, her mind struggled to keep her on her feet. But the worst were the nights. These moments, right before she would go to sleep, where anxiety clawed at her mind with cold, relentless fingers and she felt a panic attack rise up in her chest, making her heart race and her thoughts scatter, scaring all the good ones away, every single night.

And every night, her hand would shoot to the lamp on her night stand, this lamp was her new best friend. It could chase away the darkness in a flash, and at least some of the fear and the nightmares. Though it couldn't get rid of the dreams, ever, Time calmed down instantly every time. Her breathing would go back to normal, the shadows crawled away.

She liked the TARDIS, she really did. It made her feel safe.

* * *

 **What do you think? Good? Bad? Like Time? Or hate her? Please leave me a comment! :D**


	10. 10 - Onwards To The Impossible (part 1)

_The reason I haven't posted - or written anything, for that matter - the last half of a year, is that I had a lot of personal as well as some mental issues, some shitty things happened and stuff went wrong ... but as I'm trying to get everything together again, I also want to pick up my writing and this story again._

 _I have decided to split this new arch, this is the first of three parts. The whole story arch is called 'For Now I Am Winters', each chapter will be given an indiviual title._

 _Please enjoy, everyone! :D_

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 **Chapter 10 - For Now I Am Winters/Part 1: Onwards To The Impossible  
**

* * *

The worn fabric felt rough against her hands as Time emptied the contents of her backpack on her bed. She had made up her mind and decided to do a stocktaking.

Laid out in front of her on the kitschy rose-printed duvet were several clothing items, like the long, warm red jumper she loved so much, the two last elastics she hadn't lost yet (thank God), a broken pen, a half-shredded notepad, her old teddy bear Hugo, her hair brush, a dried out lotion, her old key, her father's old watch and shreds of used and crumpled up hankies, some of them bloody.

She sighed and looked down on all of her belongings. Not really something to be proud of. But it did the job, she'd been almost fully practical.

After a moment of careful hesitation, she got up and disposed of the hankies, as well as the lotion and the biro. It wouldn't be of any use to keep.

Time sat back down on the bed and her hands found the teddy. Lovingly she stroked his head and her scarred fingers ghosted over the place where his left eye once had been.

Gently she placed him at the head of the bed next to her pillow. "This is home now, Hugo.", she murmured and Hugo looked quite happy, but he was a stuffed bear so that came with the job.

The girl went back to the other things. Several jumpers, a stained tee and her old, thinned-out jacket, her last spare pair of knickers - last washed a week ago in a fountain she'd found - and the two pairs of socks she had left. She folded every item neatly and then put them on the floor next to the bed to wash them later. The elastics went onto her wrist. 'Not gonna risk losing you two', she thought to herself and grimaced slightly as the material grazed the marks on her arm.

Carefully Time picked up her father's watch and placed it on her nightstand next to the lamp. It had stopped ticking a while ago. She'd ask the Doctor if he would be so kind and fix it for her. Were there even human batteries on this ship?

The notepad and the key went into the second drawer. It closed with a satisfying _click_.

Feeling somewhat accomplished, Time let her gaze wander over the corner of the room where her bed stood. It looked neat and warm and, really, a bit like it could be home.

The only thing left on the bed now was her backpack, her sleeping bag still attached to it but she wouldn't need it anymore, so she stowed it away under her bed.

She'd wash the backpack along with her clothes, she decided and went to pick it up - and paused. Something had got stuck inside. Time reached into the bag and _pulled_ -

A book fell into her hands. Stunned, the girl sat down on her duvet, paralyzed almost, staring down at it. The book was well-thumbed, and all that was left of the edges were worn out dog-ears. On the cover the once shining, now scratched golden letters spelled _'Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone'_. Time almost would have laughed. She'd almost forgot about it, as strange and bizzarre as it seemed.

Her fingers trembled as she picked it up again, carefully, as if it might crumble in her hands and after a moment of hesitation she opened it and flicked through it. Time closed her eyes and inhaled deeply. Whatever happened, nothing would ever drive out the smell of Old Books. It would still smell of old paper and home and bookshelves, like her dad's study room.

Smiling softly Time closed the battered book and gently set it on the night table. It looked like it would have back home, maybe laying on her dad's night stand next to his watch and the lamp.

Looking at the book, something told her to get up. She had made up her mind. She knew where to go now.

Something made her insides all thingly - a distantly familiar but also almost lost feeling - as she made her way back to the console room, the newfound excitement of anticipation in her chest.

* * *

The Doctor cursed and pulled his hand back from the wire. Still muttering Gallifreyan swearswords under his breath, he brought his fingers to his mouth and tried to suck away the pain. Rose would have laughed at this boyish behaviour but her fingers and voice would have been soft and warm when she'd tell him to show her "the battle wound" and he'd pout and put up a show, mainly because he would want her to hold his hand and gently run her fingers over his skin.

Well. She wasn't there to do that now.

Eyes dark, he went back to the salad of wires and sighed, his hand still in his mouth while the other searched for the sonic screwdriver somewhere in his pocket. Part of him wondered why he kept putting it away again and again, just to pull it out again, it was just unnessecary effort. But a habit, and he wasn't messing witht that.

The whirring sound of the sonic drowned out the footsteps on the grilles, which was why Time's arrival was announced by her voice echoing through the corridor.

"... did you choose the bedsheets?"

"Bedsheets? No, why?"

He saw the girl's trainer-clad feet come to a halt next to him on the grating and he shot her a short, mildly confused glance. She went to sit down on the jump seat, pulling her legs up to her chest after she sat down.

"Yeah", she uttered. "'cause, you know ... rose-prints ... they're pretty cheesy."

"But just a bit!", she added quickly when she saw his shoulders tighten. "I mean, they're ... nice."

"I didn't, actually", he muttered and then raised his voice to drown the noise of the sonic. "The TARDIS did."

"Oh? Well, she has, um. Good taste. Yeah", Time asserted hastily, not to anger the ship.

The Doctor smiled at that. "Yeah, she does.", he said quietly, leaving out that the TARDIS had been doing that since the day Rose was gone. Leaving out that it wasn't only just Time's room. Leaving out that the only room that didn't have a rose-printed duvet was _Rose's_ room which he refused to clean up or change anything about it.

He started a bit when he realised the sonic was finished and slowly straightened up, rolling down his sleeves as he stepped out of the small pit. Quickly he strode over to the monitor on the console, checking on the stats. Everything seemed quite fine.

Time's voice broke the busy silence.

"So, I was thinking ...", she pondered, chin on her knees. "About where I want to go."

"Oh, that so?" The Doctor stopped, delighted, and raised an expecting eyebrow at her - his eyebrows never seemed to be quite on the same level, Time had noticed so his face always looked a bit crooked -, leaning against the console to face her.

Time nodded, biting back a smile. "As a matter of fact, yes." Then she got up and skipped around the console, stopping opposite to the Timelord.

She leaned forward.

"Hogwarts." She paused to let it sink in.

The Doctor blinked, unsure if he'd heard her properly.

"What?"

"Hogwarts", the girl repeated excitedly. "Th best place to see in all of creation?"

The Doctor let out a small chuckle, not quite sure if she was joking or not - her expression was pleased but serious. So he decided to carefully prod further.

"Time, you ... you're joking." A moment of horror when her expression didn't change. "Right?"

The girl shook her head. "No, I'm serious. Why shouldn't I be?" Now she seemed genuinely confused.

 _Oh, sweet Gallifrey._ She was honestly thinking it was real - but she couldn't be, could she? Time Winters, with her closed-off behaviour that showed she had to grow up too fast too soon? But maybe that was exactly it. Her one last speck of innocence, the childish, hoping belief that a place of magic was real, the one thing that hadn't been taken away from her. And would it make him a monster if he took that from her now, too?

But Time was still looking up at him, blue eyes glued on his face, waiting for his agreement. He just couldn't. But he also couldn't lie to her, he'd sworn to himself he wouldn't lie anymore.

"Time.", the Doctor started, "I hate to be that person, but ... Hogwarts isn't real." It _was_ impossible, after all.

Time crossed her arms, looking both confused and scandalised. "'tis. And you said anywhere in time and space! So -"

"Yes, anywhere in all of time and space, _except_ fictional universes."

The girl snorted and almost laughed at him.

"It's not fictional!"

"Time, I'm telling you, Hogwarts. Isn't. Real."

Time huffed and threw her arms up in the air. "What, do you think she made that all _up_?", she scoffed and the Doctor's face crumpled up, incredulous.

"Time, listen to me-", he started gently, trying to be reasonable, but his breath catched in his throat when the TARDIS suddenly subsided abruptly. The Doctor lost his feet under the ground and instinctively grabbed for the console, in a rush seeing Time slip from her place and crash into the jump seat.

And just seconds later, it was over, with a giant CRASH! and a wave that schook the whole TARDIS.

There was a moment of silence, complete stillness, and the Doctor doubled over, in a sudden fit of nausea, almost in pain. Panic rose in his mind as he crouched on the floor of his still - to his horror completely dark - ship and clutched his stomach.

Something had happened.

And something had gone wrong. Terribly, terribly wrong.

He'd seen this before. But it couldn't be ...

Then a second, way more urgent thought made it through the mist in his head: Time.

"Time?"

Finally he made it to his feet again and dragged himself along the console, his body slowly sorting itself out. "Time!", he repeated, his time louder, pure panic like bile in his throat, a feeling he hadn't experienced for months since -

A cough.

"Argh."

"Time? Time!"

A groan out of the darkness. "Yeah, sorry, 'm here, 'm here."

Quickly, the Doctor made his way through the darkness towards where the girl's voice was coming from.

"Are you okay?", he asked, partly to keep his mind occupied and distract it from what would be waiting outside. A part of him already knew what it would be and it terrified him.

"'m fine", she replied quickly and the Doctor made out a movement in the dim light. "You?"

"Yeah, yeah", he brushed the question off, the nausea still present but subsiding slowly.

"What happened?"

"I don't know.", he replied in a low voice. At least I hope I don't.

She huffed a breathy laugh. "Say that again and let me record it."

Despite the situation, a smile crept on the Doctor's lips as he came closer towards her.

Time had slowly peeled herself out of the overturned jump seat and several other objects she couldn't define while the Doctor inched closer to her.

"Where are you?", she called out into the darkness.

"I'm coming your way, just don't - don't move. Hold on."

"Why's it so dark in here?"

The Doctor gritted his teeth and finally found the soft, ragged material of the old jump seat under his fingers.

"We lost all our power ... the TARDIS is as good as dead."

A silent horror shook Time at that word, and she froze, her mind completely empty for a few seconds. Suddenly she felt something touch her thigh and and she jerked with a small squeak.

"It's me, calm down.", the Doctor's voice came out of the darkness next to her and quickly took his hand back, now sure where the girl was.

"Calm - calm down?", Time shrieked, way beyond annoyance. This whole thing was pushing her buttons, making anxiety and panic surge into her chest and she converted it to anger. "I am very calm, I am so calm right now-"

"Time, I need you to shut up for a second-"

"We can't all be aliens who -"

"Would you just keep quiet?"

She huffed as an answer and the Doctor listened.

After a few minutes of silence, the girl whispered into the darkness: "What do you think is out there?"

His face was unmoved. "There could be anything."

A beat. "Is that your catchphrase or something?"

The Doctor furrowed his brows and quickly she added: "Nevermind. Is it normal for the TARDIS to just ... crash? Wait, probably not. How can you just fall through time?"

"And space.", the Doctor added, his gaze now fixed on the small ray of light coming through the crack of the door. He placed a careful hand on Time's shoulder and pulled at her long sleeve to signalise her to follow him.

So together they perched through the darkness.

"Actually, it's allons-y."

"Sorry?"

"My catchphrase", he repeated. "Well, if you can call it that. It's allons-y."

Time paused for a second, furrowing her brows but kept moving closer to the door.

"Why does it sound french but feels like something alien?"

"No no, it is french."

"Right. Maybe it's just the way you say it.", she suggested helpfully and the Doctor snorted, fiddling with the keys - why did he have to keep locking this bloody door? - and succeeded after a few moments.

"No, see, allons-y", he explained as they stepped outside. "Is French for ..." The Doctor trailed off, suddenly blinded by a bright light. "... for Let's go."

Several people stared at them.

Slowly the Doctor lowered his hands despite the light - which was coming from headlights, Time saw now - and furrowed his brows in complete and utter confusion.

"What?"

"Right, cut!", a voice yelled behind them. Both Time and the Doctor turned around.

"What?", they both repeated.

"Perfect! Small break everyone, back at the set in twenty minutes!"

"WHAT?"

* * *

They found themselves on what looked like to be a hall, filled with people rushing around and lights stacked all around them, and several cameras. They just stood there, confused and completely dumbfounded.

It all happened too fast; not Time nor the Doctor could even start to move before they had realised what was going on.

The TARDIS started moving.

No, it was being dragged away, the Doctor realised in a cold moment of grounding, sickening terror, and he couldn't move a muscle as he watched his beloved ship being taken away from him.

He was immediately pulled out of his stupor when he felt Time's grip around his arm.

"Doctor", she started, "What-"

"What're you two still doing here? Come on, we only have twenty minutes!" A dark-haired woman approached them in obvious hurry and started swatting at them to move.

Without any protest, the Doctor and Time let themselves be pushed towards a door.

The Doctor's mind was completely numb, empty. The TARDIS was gone, they'd lost her too.

"Um, sorry, miss, 'scuse me", Time asked awkwardly, stumbling on. The woman hummed so Time went on: "This is gonna sound stupid, but, um, where exactly are we?"

The dark-haired woman just shot her a short glance as she maneuvered them through a hallway and asked abruptly, almost converstionally: "Did you lose the script?"

"Excuse me?"

"I need you two ready in half an hour, okay, we're doing the next scenes outside - this time with scripted dialogue, David?"

Script? _David_?

The Doctor stopped dead in his tracks and stared at the woman, feeling the last thread of his patience snap. "What are you talking about?"

The woman with the curly hair made an exasperated noise. "Listen, just ... let's just do our work and then call it a day. We're already two days behind. Okay?"

The Doctor opened his mouth but before he could even say anything, the woman smiled, patted him on the shoulder and disappeared in the crowd of people standing in the hallway.

Time turned to the Doctor and knew her face would mirror his. The urge to stop and take in all of her surroundings and understand what was going on was overwhelming but Time didn't even know where to start. She didn't even have time to take a breath before she was tapped on the shoulder and another, female voice said: "Hey, Kacey, can we do the touch-up real quick?"

Who the _hell_ was Kacey? Time turned around."What-" In front of her stood a smiling brown-haired woman with kind eyes and a brush in her hand. "Just a second!"

Before Time could voice any protest, she was sat down on a chair in front of a mirror. Her reflection looked terrified but otherwise perfectly fine - even the few acne scars on her cheeks were gone.

Time closed her eyes and tried to calm her shaking nerves, take a deep breath. Right. What did she know? _'One moment we were in the TARDIS. Then we crashed. Everything was dark, we got out. Suddenly we_ _'re in a room full of people, lights, everyone treats us like they know us but don't know our names. I just got called Kacey. That woman called the Doctor David. The TARDIS got carted away. I'm getting my make-up that I don't wear touched up.'_

 _Apart from the fact she had no idea how they got here or who all the people were, or who they thought Time and the Doctor were, she knew she needed time to figure it out. Preferably with the Doctor._

 _She spotted him the chair next to her out of the corner of her eyes. He too, was being attacked by a fluffy brush._

She couldn't risk it; they needed to escape this for a couple minutes.

"That's it, you're all set!", the woman who was doing her make-up chirped and with the last flourish of her brush, she pulled away and smiled at the girl. "You still got ten minutes, go grab a drink or something, that's best, yeah?"

Still shaking a bit, Time got up. "Um, yeah. Thanks."

She smiled at the woman and then turned around to stand next to the Doctor's chair. She leaned down a bit and murmured in his ear: "We have to get out of here."

He just grimaced and made a face when the woman ran a hand through his hair and then grinnned.

"Okay, I think that's it, you're done."

Quickly the Doctor scrambled up and hurried past the make up artists, mumbling a "Thank you" and with Time on his heels he strode through one of the next corridors.

The girl spotted an open door and pointed towards it; the Doctor almost sprinted towards it and slipped into the darkness. Time followed him, slammed the door shut and leaned against it, exhaling slowly.

Both were breathing heavily, trying to gather their thoughts and catch their breath. Her head was crowed, and it was ridiculous, but the first thing to come to her mind after some peace was:

"Oh, God, I can't believe Hogwarts isn't real."

The Doctor looked at her, completely stunned. Then he spoke and his voice jumped at least an octave higher. "What? Would you please focus? We have a bit more urgent issues at hand than -"

Time looked at him and suddenly anger bubbled up inside her chest. Crossly she stepped away from the door and felt herself almost shake with anger and frustration, mainly at the situation, but directed it all at him.

"Oh no, I'm the only one who's focused here! While you were all busy staring into space like a bloody idiot, I at least _tried_ to find out what's going on!"

He raised a hand to cut her off and rubbed his face with the other. "Alright, I'm sorry.", he ground out, avoiding her eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose, then turned around.

"What do we got?"

Time nodded sharply and tried to forget her anger, ban it into a corner of her mind to use later. "Okay. We crash - earth, other planet, I don't know. I reckon it looks a bit like a filmset."

The Doctor started pacing, listening carefully, on edge. "Good, what else?"

Time screwed her eyes shut. "Everyone calls us different names - you're David, I'm Kacey. I think we may be actors. Either they look exactly like us or ..."

He nodded slowly, coming to a halt. "Parallel existance.", he muttered under his breath, not loud enough for the girl to hear. Everything she'd said so far only confirmed his first assumption - and fear.

"A what?", Time asked and stepped closer to him.

Their eyes met and the Doctor buried his hands in the pockets of his coat, eyes dark. "This happened before."

Time's eyes widened. "What, you mean this actor thing?"

Quickly, he shook his head. "No. The crash, the TARDIS losing her power, I've seen this all before."

"Well, what does it mean?"

He didn't want it to be. He really, really didn't want it to be reality. The Doctor sighed and looked at the girl in front of to him; and finally he got out: "We're in a parallel universe."

Time grew very still then. She said nothing, just stared at him with a complete loss at words.

"Thing is, it's completely impossible! The rifts between the universes were sealed, there's no way to travel acroos - and believe me, I've checked - I don't understand how we could just land here!", he rambled, more or less to himself, running his hands through his hair while he paced up and down. The final answer was already lurking in the back of his mind. "It can't be, so what is it with impossible things always happening to me?" He paused and stared back at her with wide eyes, one hand still in his hair as he whispered: "Or am I just jinxing it?"

Time ignored him and he was grateful for that in retroperspective. When she finally started to move again, her expression was both firece and concerned. Her voice didn't waver, her eyes were steel. This was the face of someone who knows they have to take responsibility.

"How do we get out?"

The Doctor hesitated, but when he finally replied, his voice was as silent and apologetic as his words. "We can't."

Silence fell upon them.

Then Time asked: "So we're stuck here?"

"Yes. I'm sorry."

She didn't meet his gaze and slumped back against the door. "It's not your fault."

There was a moment of silence until the girl started up, seeming almost excited.

"Hang on - if we're in a parallel universe and they call us different names - where are ... we? I mean the people who are us in this parallel world?"

He didn't know how to answer that question. She was right. While his thoughts were racing, Time went on: "We have to exist here already. They all think you're some bloke called David!"

The Doctor nooded. "You're right. Well. Pretty much anything is possible. Although ... I'd say that when we arrived here, we erased them by accident."

"How?"

He exhaled and pulled out his sonic screwdriver, twirling it between his fingers as he spoke, slowly, carefully as he tried to explain. "We can't exist in the same time and place, so it's a bit like ... imagine it like parallel lines." He drew imaginary lines into the air with his sonic and his left digit to illustrate his point. "See, they're both existing at the same time, running alongside each other, but they never meet."

The girl nodded but frowned a few seconds later. "What happens if they meet?"

The Doctor just put his hands together and imitated an explosion. Time rolled her eyes, thinking to herself she should have expected that.

"Right. 'Course."

He smiled and raised his eyebrows when Time broke the silence again: "So, what, we ... take their place? Act as if we're them? I mean, we can't leave, we don't have the TARDIS and even if we did, we wouldn't have any power 'cause her engines fell out ... and someone has to do it. We can't just ... leave them to themselves, we're part of this now."

The Doctor dropped his gaze. Someone has to do it. He looked up again and flashed her an encouraging grin, nodding. "Pragmatical thinking. I like that."

He offered her his arm. "Allons-y, then, Miss Winters"

Time rolled her eyes but returned his smile as she took his arm. "Yeah, onwards."

* * *

 **End of Part 1/3**

 _Thanks to everyone who's still sticking with me and hanging around ... thank you so much if you haven't deserted me and this story yet._


	11. 11 - Plan Of Attack (part 2)

****Chapter 11 - (Part 2)****

 _I managed to finish a chapter! Unbelievable! Will I be happy with what I've written? Probably not. Will I ever be able to finish this bloody story arch? Maybe yes. Am I very stressed out by this storyline and just want everything to move on but am too far involved into the story to make this a short affair? YES YES DEFINITELY_

* * *

As soon as they stepped out of the little chamber, they found themselves back with a huzzle around them. The curly-haired woman from before had already spotted them.

"There you two are, we're doing the last scene outside!"

They let themselves be led outside onto a busy street, buzzing with people and the usual jam of the afternoon traffic; and it was London, the Doctor could tell the moment his feet touched the ground. A different London, of course. But still London. It felt different, like something was off, but he couldn't quite set his foot on what it was exactly. Everything around them was moving too quick to make a lasting impression, everybody was walking with purpose, faces were passing without lingering too long. He spun around in an attempt to orientate himself but only saw a sea of people, a wave that was flooding around them as if he and Time were the shore. There were too many faces; none of these would imprint themselves into his mind.

And the worlds stopped as the Doctor fell out of his clouds and it seemed like the whole universe was taking a breath.

A pair of eyes, the golden gleam of curled strands of hair, too long to be familiar but a face that had burned itself into his soul and wasn't willing to let go ever again.

 _Rose_.

Her name had left his lips before he knew he was opening his mouth; suddenly his whole mind was consumed by one thing and one thing only: her presence. Her unlikely, impossible, wonderful presence, and he was hoping - _praying_ \- that this wasn't a dream, that he would not find himself be left empty again. And for a moment, she was back, just a few metres away, he could almost feel her, he was taking her in and for a tiny, blissful moment he was whole again -

and then the moment was gone.

She vanished in the sea of people, got swallowed by the waves of timelines and not a word left his lips but her name. He wanted to scream, run after her, hold her, just do _anything_ , but he could not move, was only able to lose her once again.

"Rose ..."

The breathed out whisper of her name condensed in the cold air and slowly faded around him.

He felt a small hand wrap around his fingers and finally he was pulled out of his trance; he turned his head.

Time's heart was breaking for the man when she saw the tears that had gathered in his eyes. She gently squeezed his hand.

"Cut!"

Both of them started and the Doctor looked like he might start to run. Again, Time gave his hand a reassuring squeeze. She had already guessed what all of this had been. It had all been planned. A cruel, blind plan and it was tearing him apart.

"That is a wrap, thank you everybody! Perfect!" somebody shouted and people started laughing and cheerfully chatting away.

Time didn't really pay attention to the fuss around them, she kept her gaze on the Doctor whose eyes were now dark and dull.

The woman from before returned. She, too, to Time's surprise, was teary-eyed. She touched the Doctor's arm and uttered silently: "Beautiful reaction, David. I'm sorry we didn't tell you Billie'd be back for the shoot, it's just that Russell said it'd be more heart-wrenching to setyou up with a surprise; and what a surprise that was, yeah?"

"Yes" the Doctor echoed weakly.

"Feel free to just go now and get some rest, this was a rough day for all of us and I'm sorry I was so harsh on you two earlier. Go on, maybe you'll catch Billie on the way out!" She smiled at them and gave the Doctor's shoulder a friendly pat. "See you tomorrow."

"Thanks, Julie," Time took the initiative now, and finally she'd been able to read the name tag the curly-haired woman had been wearing all along, "I think we'll just head out then, see you. Just, if you'd be so kind, remind me when we start shooting again tomorrow?"

Julie smiled. "At eight in the morning, so it's not _too_ early."

Time forced a bright smile on her lips and nodded. "Great, thanks. Have a good night!"

"You too, dear, take care."

Time pulled the Doctor away. "Come on," she murmured as she led him back inside, "let's see if we can find us someplace to sleep."

The Doctor had not moved for over thirty minutes. Thirty minutes for Time to take a shower, get dressed in clothes that were not hers and dry her hair. They had found their actors' dressing rooms and Time was beyond thankful they had found their belongings as well as some credentials in there. She'd found both their ID's - from now on they'd be Kacey Rohl, 22 years and David Tennant, 36 years old - and the address to David's flat. Let alone the fact that they were going to have a roof above their heads for the night had lifted a huge weight off her shoulders. The Doctor hadn't asked any questions and never batted an eyelid when Time pulled him on a bus without any tickets. She didn't tell him this had been a regular for her for almost two months; generally, she figured it was best to keep her mouth shut after what had happened at the set and let him rewind. So she let him be; found a bed for herself, laid out the clothes she'd got from the set, took a shower, brushed her teeth and set up a kettle for some tea. All in the while, the Doctor had not uttered a single word nor moved an inch from his original position on the couch.

That was enough, she decided, fourty-three minutes of silence was as much as it would be for now.

"Do you want some tea?" she asked softly. He did not look up. Sighing silently, she poured water into two mugs. Then she went through the cupboards and shelves of the admittedly tiny kitchen.

"It's been a long time since I've cooked something," she said conversationally "but I think I can manage some noodles and tomato sauce. Just ... might turn out a bit bland," she chuckled "But, you know, we have to eat something. No point in just starving here."

No reply. Time chose to overpower the silence with chopping onions.

"You know, back in the day my Dad would sometimes pretend he had his own cooking show, just when ... when it was him and me in the kitchen. Yeah, we'd set everything up and I'd be the Sous Chef, chopping everything up and he'd commentate everything we did. And then Mum would have to rate the food at dinner. She'd make a laugh out of it and go all Gordon Ramsay on us - you know 'It's bland, absolutely horrible!' or 'Is this fresh? When was this cooked? It tastes frozen!', but ... just for fun of course. Usually it tasted quite good."

And Time talked and talked, blinking the tears away as she opened the cans of chopped tomatoes and stirred everything together.

"By the way, your tea's ready. I just made you one, hope that's okay. Dunno how you take yours, I'll just ... put some sugar in, classic British blend. Guess I make mine way too sweet. Always had a sweet tooth, mum said it's ridiculous that I didn't get any tooth decay so far." She chuckled. "But, you know, I'm working on it. Only two spoons of sugar." And after a moment of hesitation she added: "Or three, for good measure. We're in another dimension, for heaven's sake, I think I deserve a bit of sugar in my tea!"

In the end, she cooked the spaghetti way too long so they turned out a bit mushy, but the sauce wasn't quite a disaster. The Doctor still hadn't moved from his spot. Time cleared her throat and muttered, not looking at him: "Y'know, I'm not gonna poison you, you can come and eat something."

When he didn't reply, she continued to glumly twirl spaghetti around her fork.

"This is the most I've ever heard you talk."

Time almost jumped at the sound of the Doctor's voice. She looked up, speechless. He still sat in the same spot on the small sofa, leaned forward, arms on his knees, hands folded. He gave her a worn-out smile.

"I'm sorry I just ... zoned out like that. No, I ignored you, rather. I apologise and ... well, I feel horrible.", he admitted and the ghost of a smile rushed over Time's lips.

"It's okay. Wasn't _nice_ but ... you know, not terrible. I can deal with a bit of silence."

This time the Doctor bit back a small grin. "Well, then I admire that. But I'm still sorry."

She shrugged. "Done. Now come on, you haven't eaten anything the whole day, I'm not gonna have you collapse on me"

He nodded and joined her at the small, round table in the middle of the kitchen.

"Rather lovely flat our chap has got, you reckon?", the Doctor grinned after he'd devoured half of his plate, obviously in a better mood. "These spaghetti are brilliant, by the way!"

Time smiled. "Thanks. They're not as ghastly as I thought."

The Doctor chuckled and once again they fell into silence. After a while, Time asked softly: "Are you going to talk about what happened earlier?"

The Doctor took a long, deep breath and pushed away his empty plate.

"Probably not as detailed as you want me to."

"I can do without too many details. Just ... give me an outline of how you feel and what happened ... please?"

"Alright." He exhaled and shifted, propping himself on his elbows on the table.

"There's not much to talk about, really. I just ... know that I saw something - someone - I thought I'd never see again, and it ... it hurts.", he admitted and his voice sounded almost strangled.

Time nodded but didn't know if and how she should reply.

"I just spent all this time trying to wrap my head around the fact that she's gone, and I'd never see her again, ever. But now she's here - and it's definitely her, I've seen tricks of the light like this before, but this ... this was different."

After a while, Time spoke up. "I understand now, by the way. When you saw her - earlier, I mean. It felt like ... you have the whole universe, right at your fingertips, but in that moment your whole universe was her."

The Doctor didn't reply, so she watched her words fade in the silence and him stare at the shiny wood of the table, sigh and get up.

"Let me do the dishes", he said softly and Time put her empty plate in his outstretched hand. He only looked tired and defeated now. "You go and get ready for bed. I'll handle the rest."

"Thanks", she uttered and then got up and left the kitchen with a dull ache in her chest.

There was just pity she felt for him at the moment. Deep, heartfelt pity and empathy.

 _It sure won't help if he keeps bottling all of that stuff up,_ she thought to herself as she brushed her teeth a second time, staring at her tired freckled reflection in the mirror. _Me neither. We'll both have to come clean and start talking. Soon._

Soon, but when? Certainly, they couldn't have the full talk now. They had other things to focus on at the moment. And a talk like that needed time. And a certain distance. And it seemed like with the Other Rose here in the picture, they weren't going to get it, at least not the Doctor.

She'd just do everything she could to help him and figure out a way to get out of this mess of a place.

One thing was absolutely certain: they _had_ to find the TARDIS.

"This is where she lived?"

Time struggled to keep up with the Doctor's long and purposeful steps. He seemed to know exactly where he was going. There was a strange look on his face as she caught a short glimpse of it. Something that was more than reminiscence but also not quite yearning. He nodded, firmly.

"Third floor. Come on."

They didn't bother trying to use the old and pretty unsafe looking lift, and the Doctor took two steps at once. The girl let out a curse through gritted teeth as she almost slipped but managed to hold on to the bannister. Finally, they came to a halt in front of a door.

As if out of habit, the Doctor reached into his pocket, pulled out a key and went to unlock the door, then froze mid-track and firmly shut his eyes, a shadow of regret flitting across his face.

 _He had a key?_ Time looked up at him and the small, silver key digging into his palm's flesh, shocked. She heard him exhale and watched him slowly unclench his fist. Still holding the key, he reached out to ring the doorbell.

Footsteps from inside. A voice, calling: "Coming!" The Doctor screwed his eyes shut and looked like he hated himself. Time held her breath, not sure whom to expect -

the door opened. In its frame stood a bleach-blonde woman, in her mid-fourties maybe, with a confused look on her face and a steaming mug of tea in her hand.

"Yes?", she asked, glancing up at the Doctor and then back to Time. The Doctor let out a shaky breath. "Jackie", he breathed and almost stumbled forward. "Never knew I'd say that, but it's so good to see you. Jackie, I need to see Rose. Where is she?"

The woman, despite her confusion, took a resolute step forward and forced the Doctor out of her flat.

"I don't know who you are, or what business you have to do with my daughter, but she doesn't live here anymore."

A strange expression painted his face then, as if he didn't quite know if he'd heard her correctly. "What do you mean, she doesn't live here anymore? Jackie-"

"And how on _earth_ do you know my name?" Now the woman - Jackie - was getting quite cross. "He's the Doctor!", Time blurted out before she could control herself and bit her lips as soon as the words had left her mouth. Jackie turned to her. "Well, that's great for him then, but I still don't know him. Who _are_ you?"

"Jackie", the Doctor spat out and grabbed her wrist, " _please_. You know me. I'm the Doctor, the man your daughter has been travelling with for the last two years, and I'm so sorry-"

Jackie violently jerked her wrists free from his desperate grip. Her eyes were made of steel as she stared him down. "I think I'd be well informed if my daughter was travelling with anyone."

The Doctor was visibly torn over her words. He was shaking. "Jackie" he whispered, his voice breaking as he finally said: "you were my family."

Time's heart broke a little more for the man. Jackie, too, seemed like she was reconsidering her approach. She closed her eyes, sighed and laid a hand on his his shoulder.

"Look, I don't know who you are but you must be confusing me with someone else. Now, I think it'd be best if you went and -"

"Jaqueline Andrea Suzette Tyler!", the Doctor suddenly exclaimed, "you were born on February 1st, your father Prentice died before your daughter could meet him, and in 1986, you gave birth to a beautiful daughter, you and Pete decided to name her Rose, and she'd be too little to remember him after he died so you told her stories and showed her pictures so she wouldn't forget him. The day he died, a young woman was beside him and held his hand, it was Rose, your daughter, who travelled back in time to save her dad, she met him because she knew me, because all the universe had given her were stories of him -" He trailed off. Jackie only stared at him and for a moment, he thought she'd slap him but to his horror, tears had formed in her eyes.

"The day my husband died, _nobody_ was by his side. He was _alone_. Not even _I_ was there.", she whispered, then seemed to realise what she'd just said and furiously wiped her eyes. "Look, I don't know who you are or where you got that information from, but you should go and please, leave my daughter alone. Goodbye."

She turned around and went to close the door, but Time quickly grabbed her arm.

"Please", she begged, "we just need her address. We just want to talk to her - _he_ needs to talk to her. Or - or at least just _see_ her. Please. You don't know how important she is to him."

"I'm sorry, but I'm not going givin' my daughter's address to complete strangers with ... with hallucinations!"

"I understand that, I do, I know you just want to protect her, but we mean no harm. I promise. We just wanna talk. At least tell us if we can reach her any other way?"

Jackie bowed her head, then sighed and met Time's gaze. "Alright. Ask at Henrik's for her." She sniffed. "Reckon if he really were a lunatic, he couldn't do anything fishy during her shift."

Time felt a giant weight being lifted off her chest. "Thank you. Thank you so much."

The woman gave her a tight smile and then waved her hand impatiently.

"Yeah, now off you go!"

The door closed with a silent click.

Time turned around to find the Doctor standing there, petrified, an expression of disbelief and shock on his face. "She doesn't know me", he got out and seemed completey thrown off track.

"But what does that mean?" Time pondered out loud, "if Jackie doesn't know you, then Rose doesn't too - if this is an alternate universe, it's one where the two of you never were together. You never even _met_."

His eyes widened at her spoken realisation. His legs were shaking, his mind seemed to be slowing down with a cold, thick fog; the Doctor felt his legs might give way but Time's arms came to support him and he found himself clutching onto her, still shaking as the defeating reality crept into his mind.

"We never met ..."

Tears were welling up in his eyes and he didn't even bother to blink them away. Time's grip loosened on him and he slid across the concrete wall of the hallway on the dusty floor.

The girl kneeled down in front of him, and her face came into focus in front of him. To his surprise, her eyes, too, were teary and her voice was strained with held-back tears as she whispered "I'm so sorry" and before the Doctor could react, her frail arms wrapped around him. Almost instinctively he leaned forward and wrapped his arms around her, now finally letting down his carefully kept up guard.

Time didn't know where to go from here, she felt just as lost as the Doctor as he freely wept into her shoulder. The TARDIS was still gone. And she feared it wasn't the Doctor's highest priority finding it anymore. _New plan of attack then_ , Time thought grimly, _find Rose first. And hope the universe isn't getting ripped apart_ , she added after a moment of consideration.

A couple of minutes later (that felt like an eternity) the Doctor felt some strength seep back into his limbs and slowly, he sat up, letting go of the girl. Their eyes met. He felt shame wash over him.

"Don't apologise", she said as soon as he opened his mouth. He wanted to say something, thank her, but before he could say another word - the door of Jackie's flat swung open.

"Alright, are you ready for the next segment? The flat scenes are done now"

 _Oh no._ Time closed her eyes, as if she was hoping the crew and the cameras and lights would just all have disappeared when she opened them again. They did not.

The dark-haired man in the doorway looked down, his brows knitted in confusion.

"What're you doing down there?"

"Oh, just taking a break", Time replied as breezily and conversationallyas possible and jumped up, feigning vigour. Without breaking the man's gaze, she helped the Doctor get back up on his feet. "Where are we headed next?"

"Ah, just outside - Neill, did you take a look at this shot yet?" To Time's relief he turned around to a co-worker and picked up his work, being too busy and distracted to pay further attention to Time's trembling hands or the Doctor's red eyes and nose. Quickly, he pulled out a hankerchief and blew his nose, turning away from the stream of people that seemed to be exiting from Jackie's tiny flat. Of course it had all been just a sham. Jackie didn't know him because she, too, was just an actress, just like _they_ were - but that would mean that _Rose_ was an actress too.

 _That_ thought dropped like a stone into his stomach and he felt his thoughts fog over again.

Time nudged him in the side. "Come on, I think we should be outside" He followed her, reluctantly. Outside, part of the crew was already waiting for them.

"Quick touch-up, then we'll continue on the return-scene, yeah?" the familiar voice of the curly-haired woman said and Time nodded, forcing a smile on her lips. Quickly, she scanned their surroundings, fighting the creeping feeling of being overwhelmed. They were back in the yard, a grey concrete hollow cube and it almost felt suffocating. Nervously she pulled down her sleeves and started fiddling with a lose thread. Without a word she let the make-up artist powder up her face and shape her eyebrows, all the while standing there completely still but with racing, frantic thoughts.

 _If this is a 'return-scene', is Rose - who's not really Rose - in it? Oh God, the Doctor'll be a mess._ Realising the Doctor still had never been completely opened about the nature of hs and Rose's relationship, Time assumed - hoped, almost - it had been a completely platonic one. Then again, the look he had in his eyes anytime they spoke of her along with the way he would utter her name with such care, implied they had been something more.

Time stood there, closing her eyes and silently praying the Doctor still remembered where they were and who they were supposed to be.

The Doctor's breathing became more rapid by second. His stomach twisted as the man from earlier shouted "Action!" and as if awakening from a stupor, he started searching for Time. He found her, a couple of meters away from him, fiddling with her sleeves.

He turned around and walked towards her, cleared his throat and came to a halt. "Do you think we should go back?"

"I ..." Time started but trailed off, her eyes suddenly fixing on something behind the Time Lord. Confused, he followed her gaze, turned around - his breath got caught in his throat, one of his two hearts skipped a beat, the other was beating so rapidly he thought it'd jump right out of his chest. _Rose_. And oh, she was more than a moment, she wasn't moving, he didn't lose her in a sea of people.

There she was.

So real, so wonderful, so _close_ \- "Rose", he breathed out, not even caring that his eyes were watering again, he couldn't even move.

She stared back at him, her face - and oh, he had almost forgot how beautiful she was - scrunched in confusion. "Should I know you?"

* * *

 **End of Part 2/3**

 _Almost finished, you guys! Honestly though, I can't wait to move on from this, this all seemed so much cooler in my head (is it hideous though or is that just me? Please tell me, I need to know also please validate me on this story aaaaahh)_


End file.
